updated 14 Oct 2010, 11:16
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Mon, Sep 06, 2010
The Star/ANN
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Is he just not that into me?

I'm 30 years old; my friend introduced me to a guy who is three years older than I am. He is also from Kuching, but works in Singapore.
We chatted online for almost four months before finally meeting up recently when he came home. Before he came to Kuching to meet me, though, he already knew that I had feelings for him, but he said he wanted to focus on his work first and that we had not even met each other yet.
When we met, he was polite and gentlemanly, but he said we should be friends first and maybe I could find someone else better than him. When he went back to Singapore, I told him I wanted to post something to him, but he asked me not to waste my money, that posting is expensive.
Since then, I've been calling and texting him and he responds, and we still chat online.
Thelma, do you think he has feelings for me that he isn't admitting or is he looking for excuses to reject me?
Sad Girl

THE guy is probably being truthful and honest so be glad that he is not an online vulture preying on a trusting gal like you.
Do not feel so dejected as he is still happy to be your Internet pal. You do not really want to meet a guy for the first time and allow him to take advantage of you physically and emotionally. If he is not ready for a serious relationship, then allow him the time and space he needs. Sometimes, it is better to start a relationship on friendship before love and lust takes over.
Let him focus on his job, encourage him and support him. Be the friend and confidant, someone who listens and cares. If the fellow is interested, he will soon reciprocate your feelings.
You seem to be a lonely woman who is desperate for love and attention. Be careful that you are not easily seduced by sweet empty promises. There are so many cases of reported rapes, money scams and cons, assault and battery by strangers who pretended to be online friends. While you have been fortunate, loneliness could drive you to continue seeking such friendships that could end with more than heartbreak and disappointment.
Instead of wishing for someone who is not ready for love, look out for guys who are available and within reach. Create opportunities, be bold and brave if you want to catch the fellow that catches your eyes. Date him, intrigue him with your womanly wiles. Feel secure and confident about yourself. But do not be easy with your body and your love.

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