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updated 27 Mar 2012, 09:48
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Tue, Dec 06, 2011
The New Paper
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'Rich parents are the worst paymasters'
by Joyce Lim

I love my students but I loathe some of their parents, confesses a private tutor who wants to be known as only Melissa.

The 31-year-old who teaches primary and secondary students English, mathematics and science, has seen a good number of Tiger Mums in the past five years that she has been tutoring.

The label "Tiger Mum" travelled worldwide earlier this year when Chinese-American law lecturer Amy Chua published her memoirs, Battle Hymn Of The Tiger Mother.

In the best-selling book, Ms Chua recounts her parenting techniques and comes across as an over-the-top domineering mother.

Melissa recalls one such mum who called her son "useless" even though he scored 98 out of 100 marks for his mathematics test.

She says: "She has two sons and her younger son is smarter and more obedient. But she would be constantly belittling the efforts of the younger son in front of the older one...She would scold him for not getting full marks."

Melissa, who is married but has no kids, confesses that she sometimes wishes to take such mums down a peg or two, but refrains as it is not her place to do so.

Another peeve: That parents allow devices to take over parent-child time.

She says: "They'll tell their kids, 'Do your homework first, then you can play your game.' I have not heard them telling their kids, 'Do your homework and I will take you to the library.'"

Melissa often comes across parents who stress over their children's homework, especially when the school assigns a pile over long weekends.

She says: "One student's mother would ask me to check all her son's homework to make sure that he gets all the correct answers. Sometimes I end up spending the entire tuition session just doing that."

Then there are the parents who fire her the moment their children fail their tests without giving her a chance to help the kids improve their grades.

Earlier this year, Melissa was sacked when one students failed a mathematics test for the first time.

She began tutoring the boy to prepare him for the PSLE last year.

"He did well and got into a secondary school. When he was in primary school, he was very good in maths and had never failed," says Melissa.

"But he failed his first maths test in Sec 1. His mother was very upset when she saw her son's test paper.

"She fired me right away. Even though her son did well in his science test, she did not give me credit for that.

"When I went to their flat to collect my fees, the mother did not invite me into the flat and handed me the money through the grille gate."

Then the stinger:

"As she had wanted to stop the lesson before the end of the month, she pro-rated my fee. I was shocked - she had the exact amount ready, including the coins. She would not even round off the amount to the nearest dollar."

She notes that the more well-to-do parents are the more calculative ones.

Very often, they don't pay her on time and even try to bargain for a $10 discount in the fees.

Melissa says: "These rich parents travel frequently and they are always coincidentally away when my pay day arrives.

"It is common for them to delay my payment for up to two months. I don't understand why they cannot hand my salary to their children, who can then give it to me."

In contrast, the less well-off parents pay her on time and tend to be more understanding and have more realistic expectations of their children's grades.

Take a Primary 4 pupil of hers, who lives in a three-room HDB flat with his grandparents, parents, sister and uncle. Before she began coaching him, the boy used to get around 20 marks for mathematics, science and English.

Now, after two years, his marks have doubled - not spectacular by Tiger Mum standards, but his parents are "very understanding".

She notes: "He has shown improvement. They do not put too much pressure on him."

Melissa, who holds a degree in microbiology, used to work in a lab. She was not passionate about teaching, so she decided on this path as tuition is a good "business", given that she typically works just six hours a day.

She is confident the market will never be saturated with people like her.

"There will always be weaker kids, and the smart ones just want to be smarter. There's no end to it.

"And Singaporean parents are always willing to pay to ensure their kids get good grades and into the top schools."

Secrets of the trade

1. The best time to ask for a raise is when your students achieve good grades and get promoted to the next level at the end of the year.

2. Don't leave your belongings unattended when you use the bathroom. I have had my money and mobile phone stolen by my students on a few occasions. It was their maids who told me about it and after I complained to their parents, I got my things back.

3. Take public transport, so you get to rest on the bus or MRT train commute. Driving gives you time for more students. But the extra fees you earn go into paying for the car.

This article was first published in The New Paper.

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