updated 28 Apr 2012, 11:21
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Tue, Feb 21, 2012
The New Paper
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Why men stray: Is it the thrills or the skills?

Women like Jenny come with a reputation to match her exotic looks.

The photo of her slender body and playful brown eyes posted online would tantalise many a man.

Women like her are dubbed "smooth operators", "commando lovers" or "sweet lips" by men who recommend them to others desiring raunchy action.

Every sexual encounter with such women are rated in "field reports" on special members-only forums.

These women, either because of their exceptional good looks or service, are in demand even after they end their brief stays in Singapore.

While online sex workers can be pricey, men are willing to pay dearly - even if it means getting caught by their wives or ending up answering uncomfortable questions at the police station.

Why do they risk it all? The question was on many minds when news broke last week of the online sex scandal, which saw many professionals, including civil servants and a principal, being hauled up by the police after their names were found on a database.

Why would these men, presumably married and with successful careers, engage in such risky behaviour?

They had banked on the pimps being discreet. They had assumed they would not be exposed.

They were wrong.

Is it the thrill of the risk? Or the skill of the sex workers?

Mr Ong (not his real name), who is familiar with the way online vice rings operate, thinks it's the sense of adventure.

The businessman in his 40s says: "The way these girls caress you and the lengths they're willing to go will make any man blush.

"I can't imagine doing such things to my wife. She might think I'm a pervert."

Another married man sees it as merely a transaction with no emotional ties, he tells The New Paper on Sunday (TNPS).

"Wives are for loving and raising a family," says the man who wants to be known by just his surname, Lim.

"These foreign girls fulfil our sexual needs and fantasies. That's all."

The sweet nothings whispered into men's ears and the unrushed manner in which they pamper clients even as the 90-minute session comes to a close remind some men of their youth.

"It's like falling in love again," says Mr Ong.

Mr Lim first strayed when he realised that married life was not what he had expected.

Says the accountant: "After having our first child, our sex life was non-existent.

"I can count, using my fingers, the number of times I was intimate with my wife."

His sentiment is reflected in a new Durex poll released on Thursday.

The key point of the survey, based on interviews with 500 men and women in Singapore, is that they feel emotionally close to their partners during sex.

But only half of those polled say their partners are good at providing sexual pleasure.

Mr Nikhilesh Kalra, marketing director of Reckitt Benckiser Malaysia & Singapore, the company behind Durex condoms, says: "Intimacy and emotional connection often play a strong role in sexual satisfaction for both men and women.

"We would like to encourage Singaporeans to experiment and communicate with each other more when they are in bed. They are likely to enjoy it more."

When they don't enjoy sex with their partners, some are likely to look elsewhere.

They end up having affairs or going to prostitutes.

Those who cheat do so for various reasons, says psychologist Daniel Koh.

Some sleep around to boost their self-worth and egos. Some think cheating is all right and accepted by society.

Others do it as though they are "collecting a prize or to see how far they can go before getting caught", says Mr Koh.

Then there is the skill - what the wife cannot do, the sex worker may be trained to do.

Jenny, for example, is proud of her skills, honed from her five years in prostitution.

Says the Filipina in her late 30s: "I'm proud I have not lost my touch. I'm one of the few in our stable of eight women who can make a man reach orgasm within 10 minutes. It's true."

The art is to rekindle the client's desires, says another working girl, Becky (not her real name).

Says the Thai woman, a university undergraduate in her 20s: "You need to look at what sort of man you're dealing with. You need to know how he wants to 'play'.

"I can act cute or submissive. Or I act wild when the situation demands it. Men want their brains to get excited, too, not just their bodies."

Often, the sex workers' boast of sexual prowess may be exaggerated, says Mr Ong.

"What skills do you need in this line of work?" asks Mr Ong.

"I am familiar with the mentoring that some women who used to work in (Thai) bath houses get and it shows in the techniques they use on clients here. But other than those, I guess these girls just improvise along the way."

Maybe so but getting into the high-end escort market is not easy, TNPS found out.

Posing as a prospective call girl, our female reporter approached the operator of a website which claims it promotes only the best girls featured in its "platinum class".

An hour's session costs US$500 (S$630). Clients get to choose from Asian and European women.

At least two foreign-registered websites claim their "touring escorts" can earn as much as $15,000 a month.

The man who had answered TNPS' phone call says: "How much you make depends on how beautiful you are and how hard you work.

"The longer a client books your services, the more you will earn. Is this your first time?"

He adds he does not hire women under the age of 18. And he asks the female reporter to send him pictures of herself in the nude.

He has to be picky, he says. His customers, he boasts, include rich Westerners, businessmen and even datuks.

This article was first published in The New Paper.

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readers' comments
stray or stroll or even sway, as long as wivies come to me already is ok lah.
Posted by lao.leeky on Sat, 25 Feb 2012 at 08:19 AM

stray or stroll or even sway, as long got come back to wife can already lah. :o
Posted by AsiaOneReader01 on Sat, 25 Feb 2012 at 03:16 AM

When it comes to delightful, bored, mid-20s Vietnamese checkout girls on far less salary than me, then extending the courtesy of buying some great food and procuring a lovely air-conditioned hotel room, is the least I can do.

As for supporting an entire clan in the Philippines, Vietnam or Thailand, as well as paying for a whole herd of caribou to be tended for, and procuring land and building bungalows in the countryside......

This is very expensive and my finances do not extend to supporting developing world women's families through marriage.
Posted by Trouser Press on Fri, 24 Feb 2012 at 18:07 PM

FOC or paid?????????:D
Posted by exportset23 on Fri, 24 Feb 2012 at 17:54 PM

I think I would be considerably worried if a vulva emitted D24 odours.

Fortunately my body has certain "interlocks" in place, and if a pudenda was releasing durian-like odours, I would not be able to achieve an erection.:p;)
Posted by Trouser Press on Fri, 24 Feb 2012 at 17:47 PM

I thought you were going to say ''stay away from these hill tribe ladies,their pussies smells like durian''

you're afraid of durian,aren't you ?
Posted by tuaSoyliap on Fri, 24 Feb 2012 at 17:23 PM
Paiseh hor... sorlie sorlie... so is it Vulva = CB and Chomp = ** ??? :o :D

Ball is rolling... but I catch no ball yet.... :p

Posted by Small Fly on Fri, 24 Feb 2012 at 17:17 PM

Last year there were two (yes two) cases of Viets cutting off sexual partners' penii - as seen in the New Paper - never mind other news channels in Vietnam, USA, etc.

These women did not look like "mainstream" Viets from HCMC. Something about their facial expressions suggested they were trouble.

"Mainstream" Vietnamese city girls do not scare me. I remember making love to a checkout girl from Hanoi once, and her handling of my particular "products" (some meat, and two potatoes) was particularly impressive.:p
Posted by Trouser Press on Fri, 24 Feb 2012 at 17:15 PM

WOW! In BKK, out of every 100 women... 87 of them (I rounded down already) wants or dreams of wanting to have an office romp.

Hoseh liow!

Posted by roadrunerboi on Fri, 24 Feb 2012 at 17:10 PM

C'mon don't stop there...tell us more......
what's the thing about these vietcong pussies that scares you witless.
Posted by tuaSoyliap on Fri, 24 Feb 2012 at 17:08 PM

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