updated 26 Jul 2012, 09:25
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Sun, Jul 22, 2012
The Star/Asia News Network
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He says hasn't settled everything with his 'ex-wife'

I met H three months. Before we started our relationship, he told me he was in the process of divorcing his wife.

They have three sons, all below six years old.

H said his wife had insisted on the divorce and they signed the papers early this year.

He also said we cannot contact each other or meet every day because he hasn't settled everything with her.

He has to go to court in October because both of them want custody of the children.

He said we have to "curi curi" meet because his wife will kick up a row if she finds out about us. Because I love him, I agreed to that.

Recently, H's wife found out about us and called me.

I told her about our relationship and she was calm.

She didn't scold me but said no, they are happy and have not brought up the issue of divorce.

Now H has asked me not to message him because his wife always finds excuses to check his handphone, and to break up "temporarily" because he wants to get his sons. I didn't agree and scolded him.

He also said she has told him to stop the divorce proceedings and is asking for more.

He said he really loves me. I asked him to show me the divorce papers but he said his wife is keeping them.

I really don't know who to believe. My friend thinks H is a liar and has asked me to forget H. But I just can't.

Need help

When H started by telling you that he had to keep your relationship quiet, alarm bells should have started ringing.

His story just does not make sense.

If he has already signed the divorce papers, then he is officially divorced.

That means the marriage is legally over and he is free to see whoever he wishes.

He concocted a story to lure you, and then played up the pitiful party bit to trap you.

If his wife calls and tells you that they are not divorced, what reason do you have to not believe her?

Since that call, H's behaviour seems to provoke even more suspicion.

He claims not to have the divorce papers?

These are legal documents and he should have a copy.

And then telling you that his wife, who is technically his ex if his story is true, is checking his handphone and you have to contact him in secret?

He must think you fairly gullible.

You need to be honest with yourself.

Does his story sound honest to you?

There are just too many shady parts and he is not being upfront with you.

He is spinning more and more lies. If you are not careful, you are going to be caught in a web of deceit.

If he loves you, then he should be honest with you.

All the signs point to the fact that he is not.

You need to put yourself first and make the right decision for yourself.

Your friend is right.

He is not good for you and you should leave him.

Forgetting him will come with time and it will help you to know that you've made the right decision.

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