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Why the "cannot-make-it" guys get all the attractive girls
by Skilldo

You may have seen this before - a below-average looking guy, his hand on the waist of a beautiful woman, and both looking blissfully happy as they stroll along Orchard Road, oblivious to the stares of other envious males. He obviously has no problems attracting the good looking ones.

The funny thing is, there are complete opposites too. Attractive-looking males who just cannot score a date.

Yes, there are tall, handsome, and even well educated men who just cannot get to know women.

I know of a graphic designer, let's call him P,  who worked for a rather well-known local company. He has above-average looks and things were going well in his life, except when it came to dating.

He was always telling people how he longed to have a gorgeous girlfriend, but just didn't know how to go about getting one. Thankfully for him, a colleague of his who was quite accomplished with women offered to help him in the dating department, correcting his moves and offering advice.

Unfortunately, he did not act on the latters' advice and it was no surprise that P did not see results.

P revealed later: "Even if I got myself a girl, I'm not sure I deserve her. I will wonder if she is with me because she was won over by my moves, or if she was truly interested in me."

So P thinks he does not deserve to have a gorgeous girl in his life. Which leads me to conclude that P thinks such dating skills are only "reserved" for people who are 'worthy'. Either that, or he is just plain confused about wanting a girlfriend in the first place.

But having success with women is not a matter of smooth moves.

If a guy feels he is not fit to have a successful dating life, having social skills or not will not matter. He will still fail with women and in dating.

Many guys go through life hoping to find success with women, but see little or no results as the years pass. The invisible reason (that most of them won't admit to) is they do not believe they are worthy of such success.

First things first - stop with the loser mentality.  If you keep thinking: "I'm not her type", or "I don't want to screw up", or "What if she thinks I'm desperate or something?", you will never get out of the dating doldrums.

Why not look at it this way instead? As a man who is in charge of your own social life, the women you meet deserve a taste of your interesting, fun and attractive qualities.

And possessing social skills is simply a means to help you achieve your goal faster and more easily.

It's a fact, guys. Every man I know who has a fantastically active social calendar - even those who aren't good-looking, have beautiful girlfriends. And they know they deserve it.

But be convinced about this first: You are worthy.


About the contributor:
Skilldo is an 'ex-unhappy' Singaporean guy - who grew from being lonely, dateless and single... into breaking out of it, and obtained a fulfilling social life in meeting, dating and entering satisfying relationships with women.

He is the author of 'The Ultimate Singapore Girl-Getter'. A locally-focused guide for Singapore men to approach, date and successfully attract the type of women they want for themselves.

He maintains a website containing secrets and training for men at -

more: dating
readers' comments
#1. How do you know the average is not rich? Maybe the girl go for the rich guy but not nice looking?

#2. Maybe the average looking guy is very caring? Or he is a smooth talker that had won over her? Maybe he really treat her like a queen, she enjoys these moments but had never thought of marrying?

#3. Maybe there's really something what people had been saying "the looks doesnt matter, it's the character and heart".

#4. Also the least believed : Fate

#5. Vice versa for gals or guys.....
Posted by SYTeoTammie on Thu, 26 Feb 2009 at 15:02 PM
It's the personality....most average Joe's oozes the x-factor!
Posted by heavenlyangel on Thu, 26 Feb 2009 at 03:56 AM
Simple answer.
The beautiful girls don't have the brain and cannot compete with the average simple plain Jane for the handsome beau and vice versa.
Laurence Lim
Posted by ausheaven on Wed, 25 Feb 2009 at 19:02 PM

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