updated 11 Mar 2014, 00:52
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Tue, Feb 11, 2014
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Coming clean about abuse
by Azlinda Said

I had a great need to be wanted, so I fell over myself trying to please my family, friends and the opposite sex. I wanted their acceptance so badly that I let people walk over all over me. I repeatedly fell for the wrong guys - those who would string me along or use me for their pleasure before dumping me.

If I hadn't met my current boyfriend, I may well have continued my reckless lifestyle to this day. We met a year ago, and he was the first man to accept me for who I was. He looked beyond my physical appearance and made me feel worthy to be lived.

I had an emotional connection with him - something I had never felt before with my casual flings. A month into our relationship, I told him about the abuse, fully expecting him to walk away. But he didn't.

My Life in Reboot

Since then, I've come clean to my sisters and a few close friends, who were shocked to hear about what I've had suffered as a child.

My sisters, who used to be close to Mark, now just maintain a cordial relationship with him. They never doubted me - the tears trickling down my cheeks as I related my ordeal convinced them I was telling the truth. I'm the rebel of the family and I rarely cry, even when things get tough. I fight back instead. So when they saw how vulnerable I was, they knew I had gone through something terrible.

I'm not ready to expose Mark's misdeeds. It's not because I care for him, but I don't want to hurt his wife and kids. My family has gone through many ups and downs over the years, so I don't want to add to the troubles. I also don't want to live under my extended family's scrutiny - after all, it would be my word against his.

For now, the support I've received from my loved ones has given me the confidence and courage to move on. Acknowledging that I was molested made it easier to go forward. I am less angry at the world now, and I prefer to channel my emotions into building a better future for myself - I'm running my own business, which I hope to mould into a successful venture within three years.

Because of what happened to me, I want to stand up against sexual abuse. When I'm finally ready to share my childhood nightmare with the world, it will be to fight for more protection for children, especially from sexual predators who lurk within the family. Children shouldn't have to grow up ignorant like me - nobody ever told me what was right and wrong. I had to learn everything on my own, the hard way."

*Names have been changed.


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readers' comments
firstly thank your grandma for no "serious" damaged done. secondly forgive Mark... cos afterall he was.... just a kid growing up curious about girls and all....
thirdly look within yourself ... soul search abit... yeah you were a kid young and all... but dun mommy ever teach u never to allow guys to touch you inappropriately? instead you led him on. you were very young and he was just at the "curiosity kills the cat" age. hmmm... sorry if i were insensitive to say this... i really dont think that "molested" girls will turn to one night stands for comfort. please learn to love your body..

live and let live. good luck!
Posted by nothingbettatodo on Wed, 12 Feb 2014 at 13:07 PM

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