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Mon, Mar 23, 2009
The New Paper
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On single S'porean women
by Ng Tze Yong

MM Lee: On single S'porean women

My daughter is one of them. What can I do?

When she was in her early 30s, I told her, never mind all this.

My wife and I used to tell her, what you want is a M, R, S - Mrs.

She didn't think it was funny. Now, she is 50-plus.

I'm getting old, I've got a pacemaker... We've got this big house, everything is looked after now, but what happens when we are no longer there?

Who's going to run this place? Who's going to make sure that the maids are doing the right thing and so on and so forth?

That's the price she will have to pay...

She says, I'll look after myself, but she has not been looking after herself all these years.

She went abroad for her studies... and her cooking was just to take the salmon and put it in the microwave and eat it up.

You can do it and then go to the canteen, but when you do that day after day...

It's a choice she has made and a choice that 35 per cent of our women are making.

Who am I to complain, except that society lives with the choices it makes?

This article was first published in The New Paper.

readers' comments
And for mimosa555, you don't score with your scorn either. You talk about virtues but seems lacking yourself.

It's nothing about 'recruiting' but rather the incongruence of this nation's so-called aspiration of forgiveness and acceptance of ex-criminals against issue of homosexuality.

And don't tell me what is right to question or not, it's the rights to expression by an individual, dear.
Posted by RedDotter on Mon, 30 Mar 2009 at 17:04 PM
I'm glad and agree with prilla80 on consideration of looks in the real world. And contrary to my so harsh opponents here, I actually admire & respect Lee Wei Ling much that she stays true to how she feels, is and and stand up for, sexuality aside. Doesn't it makes you wonder who's ability to not expect perfection in this issue actually.

Every individual takes their own time to know how to attract a mate or even be ready to attract. Why don't roblimch question if it's below belt for any father, lest a public figure to embarass his own daughter like that in public quote, unless is politically motivated?

It's all about changing civilisation and trends, to respect and celebrate and give quality to all creed of decent human lives than imposing certain pegion-hole molding of citizen's lifestyles.

.....
Posted by RedDotter on Mon, 30 Mar 2009 at 16:52 PM
If looks matter so much, then why the ex Miss Singapore is still single? She's ladylike, long haired, soft spoken, successful... Why the single life?

And if we go around Singapore, we can see couples around us, not all of them are beautiful, pretty, handsome, ladylike, etc etc... But they manage to find spouses.

Attraction can arise from other aspects as well, a kind heart, intelligent mind, etc etc... Not only looks.
Posted by mimosa555 on Tue, 24 Mar 2009 at 11:35 AM


Why the apologies ? there is nothing wrong in believing in the institution of marriage and your perspective is nicely put :)

However, unfortunate as it is, looks (especially for the female gender) still matters at the initial stage of courtship as it is a 50% precursor reflection of how your future offsprings will be like, nature's selection of the "fittest".

There are so many factors that contribute to a person's singlehood in a S'pore society context. What would be good is to help clueless singles in how to attract a mate. The ability to not expect perfection in your choice would also definitely help.
Posted by prilla80 on Mon, 23 Mar 2009 at 20:12 PM
Absolutely.

When MM bears his soul in sharing part of his life, I connect with him as a parent... ever worrying for our children.

RedDotter should apologise.

Posted by sintiow on Mon, 23 Mar 2009 at 19:34 PM
I suppose we now understand more how MM feels . Us parents who can share his views and no doubt his pain in having a daughter in her middle age,, unable to cook still being part of the family home., obviously nowhere to go. Does it say anything for us as parents? Is it our fault, we ask? Or is it we placed so much emphasis on an education that we forgot to give them a life? And what then is the credibility of the daughter in question who keeps writing in the august Sunday Times about family and values and life? Hmmmmm.

sharlynrj
Posted by Posted on Mon, 23 Mar 2009 at 18:50 PM
Living a marriage life is full of joy and happiness. But marriage also has its downside. At the end of the day, life is what you make of it.

Blessed are those who find their loved ones in this lifetime, and blessed are those who are single but live lives to the fullest...

We live with the choices we make.
Posted by mimosa555 on Mon, 23 Mar 2009 at 18:22 PM
i have to agree that RedDotter is hitting way below the belt with his comments. We may not agree with LKY's views and that is absolutely fine in a civil society, but there is really no need or bases to make such thinly veiled and personal snide remarks.

guys like you give online forums a bad name.

as for this singlehood issue, at the end of the day, it is personal matter and not much the State can do. i think this whole debate is rather futile.
Posted by roblimch on Mon, 23 Mar 2009 at 17:43 PM


At the risk of sounding fuddy duddy, may I ask if you have considered the joy of bringing up a child, of shaping a part of your life embodied in this child that you may be able to instill all the qualities you wish you had in yourself which your parents overlooked to impart to you? This is one of the greatest things in a marriage.

How about sharing a life that you and your spouse created together the embodiment of your love for each other? I think it is a lovely thing. You might want to forget all the 'chores' that all these entails and focus on the joy that gardeners experience when they see their plants bloom.

Apologies for a long-winded and old fashioned perspective of marriage.
Posted by terkan on Mon, 23 Mar 2009 at 17:17 PM
RedDotter, are you a homosexual yourself or an ex criminal? Good if you are, but then again... not a good enough reason to "recruit" others.
It's not right to question others' sexual orientation. When you talk about loving and caring society etc etc, it should also include respecting others. No need to have double take on anyone's sexuality. How to live in harmony with everyone (be it homosexuals or ex criminals), if such double take happens...
Posted by mimosa555 on Mon, 23 Mar 2009 at 16:56 PM

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