WE'VE been focusing on advice for women in recent months. Lest the men feel neglected, today, we'll have some for the men.

If you are a man who is unsatisfied with your current attraction skills, here is a lesson for you.

You can learn to be better with women and with people in general. You can cultivate, train and hone your social skills to a very advanced degree, just as with any sport or artistic endeavour.

The mere fact that being good with people is something you can learn and develop is, to many people, a revolutionary revelation.

A perfect example of this lesson is the rapidly growing movement of men cultivating their skills in romance and dating.

All over the world, there are gatherings of men learning to get better with women.

They refer to themselves as 'the community', and through the help of online networks, a community member can go country-hopping across the world meeting other members, enjoying their hospitality and learning the ropes of the local social scene. It's even represented right here in Singapore.

You can spot some of these members through their use of scripted routines to generate attraction. The routines that begin with: 'So who lies more, men or women?', 'Hey, are you two best friends?' or 'You have the perfect C-shaped smile.'

Each of these lines leads into a canned routine that the aspiring pick-up artist has prepared and practised beforehand.

A decade ago, this was an underground sub-culture. Nowadays, it is practically a mainstream social phenomenon in the English-speaking world.

In the 2005 New York Times bestseller The Game: Penetrating The Secret Society Of Pick-up Artists, journalist Neil Strauss entertainingly exposed the early phases of the movement from his personal perspective and involvement.

Secret no more

As the founders of several different pick-up artist companies, which generate millions of dollars in revenue each year, broke into mainstream consciousness with appearances on several highly respected US and UK TV shows, the 'secret society' was no longer a well-kept secret.

They spawned similarly themed reality TV shows, such as the popular Canadian show, Keys To The VIP, now going into its fourth season.

When one of the most prominent pick-up artist companies in the world was given its own reality TV series on VH1, The Pick-up Artist, this previously underground community had cemented its place in modern pop culture.

While I certainly don't endorse all these companies' teachings, especially in their reliance on canned routines, the one take-away lesson from them that can apply to everyone is that being good with people and women in particular is something you can learn, practise and get better at.

But it takes guts and perseverance. It means you have to put yourself out there. It requires you to set aside your ego and be ready to make mistakes - a lot of mistakes.

The men who saw major and rapid improvement had all prepared themselves to start conversations with hundreds of strangers. Most social artists try to talk to at least 500 strangers a year. Many interact with more than 1,000 a year.

In my first intensive year practising social skills, how many times did women reject me? At least a hundred.

Let's put that in perspective. How many shots has Michael Jordan, arguably the greatest basketball player ever, missed in his career?

In his own words, immortalised in that famous Nike commercial, Jordan says, 'I have missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I have lost almost 300 games.

'On 26 occasions, I have been entrusted to take the game winning shot and I missed.

'And I have failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is precisely why I succeed.'