updated 26 Jun 2009, 09:37
    Powered by
user id password
Fri, Jun 26, 2009
my paper
EmailPrintDecrease text sizeIncrease text size
Two men and their love for a baby
by Ana Ow

WHEN I was growing up, my dad was someone I loved dearly, but who I naturally feared and resented from time to time.

My father was a single parent, having divorced my mother when I was nine months old.

He won custody of me and brought me up in an extremely sheltered environment. He was
protective to the point of being draconian (or so it seemed to me, as a teenager).

Our relationship improved somewhat as I grew older and he became more mellow with age. Yet, all the old emotions I had for my father resurfaced when it came time to tell him that I was seriously involved with D (who is 11 years my junior) and that we wanted to get married last year.

To be fair to him, Dad was cool when I broke the news. D and I had been living together for about a year at the time, and Baby K – my son, who was born last November – was then on the way.

What I was most concerned about was this new relationship between the two main men in my lives.

How would they get along as a family? Would they even get along?

After all, when it comes to my dad, no one has seemed good enough for me to date. What on earth could he have thought of D, who was then barely an adult, awaiting National Service and had not a penny to his name?

But D and I were going to build a life together, and no one, not even my father, was going to stop me.

To my surprise, Dad did not stand in our way. Though he didn’t fully approve of our marriage, he gave us his support and blessings because he knew that I was happy with D.

And while that counted for so much, nothing could have prepared me for how he ended up getting along with D.

To my surprise, Dad and D had more things in common, compared with their differences. D even told me one day that he and my dad were “very alike”.

Dad involved D in various activities, ranging from moving furniture around the house to watering the plants. These D did happily.

One day, Dad even brought home his old mountain bike, refurbished so that he and D could use it.

But perhaps the most wonderful thing they have in common is their shared passion for Baby K. D has, from day one, been an amazing father who is committed to everything that involves Baby K. His dedication has not escaped my dad.

On Father’s Day on Sunday, I sat down to brunch with the three men in my life – Dad, D and Baby K. I couldn’t help but feel the uncomplicated love that was present – one that I hadn’t expected would come quite as easily as it has.

More than that, I felt that both D and my dad would do anything for Baby K. And because of that, they would also do anything for each other.

A tribute to these men is in order, I think.

So thanks, guys, from the bottom of my heart.

For more my paper stories click here.

readers' comments

Copyright © 2009 Singapore Press Holdings Ltd. Co. Regn. No. 198402868E. All rights reserved.