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Mon, Sep 09, 2013
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The best of Singaporean men and the worst of Singaporean women
by Julian Wong

I honestly don't like Singaporean men very much. They bore me. The majority are so homophobic that they wouldn't even appreciate Sacha Baron Cohen's alter ego, Bruno! Or maybe, it could simply be insecurity arising from the fact that they have on multiple occasions unwittingly exposed themselves to Bruno. Don't know what I'm talking about?

Yet, I do need to credit Singaporean men with a couple of things.

1) Singaporean men are rock steady. Because of the risk-adverse nature of the well-educated, average Singaporean male, he is effectively the financial pillar for any woman and tai-tai's-to-be. Never mind the financial turmoil, he's probably got it all planned and sorted somewhat.

2) Singaporean men are steadfast, loyal and faithful to a cause. Foreign female friends rant and rave about how the Singaporean Joe is ever eager to please. Their Asian roots help - no further for a doting father and family man.

3) Singaporean men are so united. In a relaxed setting, two things effectively bind men here - and that's army talk and soccer talk. I've witnessed so many Singaporean Joes chummying up within minutes of idle banter on these two default topics.

4) Singaporean men respect their elders and tradition. While increasingly local women stray on this, the men remain stalwart.

Moving on, time to get bitchy with the bitches - the worst of Singaporean women. I tend not to develop close relationships with many Singaporean women because their faults repulse me so much.

When you do catch me with female company during the weekends, you'd discover that they aren't local, or they have spent many years abroad, or also hate other Singaporean women with a passion. What's there to dislike? Too much!

1) Sarong Party Girls (SPGS). I was at Attica some weeks back, just tagging along with some friends. I was rolling my eyes over and over again. Local girl after local girl were hurling themselves at Ang Moh men, disregarding the Caucasians' looks and profession. If you think that these SPGs are those who are sexed up, dressed in tight or revealing clothing and beach-tanned, that isn't sot. The SPG mentality is so widespread there is even a SPG in every Plain Jane.

2) The Non-SPGs are unadventurous and boring. They are the "I don't know, anything goes!" type. What's their idea of spending the weekend? Shopping, lying in bed, watching Korean or Japanese soap operas. Ask them out to go for in-line skating, cycling or shooting it out at paintball and they'd talk you out of it.

3) Spineless, shapeless wrecks. She NEVER lives for herself but always about what her boyfriend wants, what her mother wants, father wants, friends want. The biggest irony? Her friends are equally lost! Unlike the robust women from the West, these Vanda Miss Joaquims have no dreams, goals or passions. Oh sorry, I forgot - they do however continually seek out men they can leach inspiration from and direction from. The one time you never want to be close to a Singaporean woman is when she is out of job and bumming. They are just SO DRAINING! At least in Japan, women are domestic lords.

4) Complacent As Hell. The Singaporean woman naturally doesn't give a damn about her appearance, what with all that "if he loves me, he'll accept me for who I am" jazz. To them, getting attached is an excuse to get fat, as is getting hitched, having a baby, or becoming a mom. I know this too well. I live with one, the Monster Mom. Don't blame your husband or boyfriend for the "overtime work" or inordinate amounts of "business travel".

5) They are prissy. Hello? The poor guy's only asking to go out with you. It's not like he's proposing. And where have you been? Reproduction ain't the sole function of sex.

6) Twisted, warped minds. Girls reading this may attest to hating your moms. I wouldn't speak so soon. It's a vicious cycle.

7) Choping seats with tissue paper. Absurd and completely unacceptable.

readers' comments

Weird la... single girls got maids meh?. they pre-occupied to their parent's maids?. Then where the kids come from?
Posted by on Fri, 25 Sep 2009 at 00:18 AM

You are one type of funniest joker in Singapore, I never had ever seen any Men chop seat before. Men are "macho" , they provide seat and open door to us (girls). Do you have a local singaporean chinese boyfriend before?. You go and sleep with him for one day, then you will know him. Trust me.!:D
Posted by on Fri, 25 Sep 2009 at 00:13 AM
I am a true born and bred Singaporean girl, frighteningly, I totally agree with this post, SG are complacent, in the homefront and the looks front. They however try to make very good mothers..often at the expense of loving life...thus making the little kids into little bores...we pick on maids, but can't keep house without them, we think looks are about combing your hair before you leave the house. Converstaion revolves around husbands' jobs and kids and to single girls...they are preoccupied towards future husbands' jobs, kids and maids.
Posted by jazzmine_s on Mon, 7 Sep 2009 at 13:09 PM
Because Singaporeans are conservative generally or politically, Singapore is slow in social evolution by itself. That means good and bad evolution are also slow. From the TV and movies, Singaporeans want to be more like people in US or other Angmoh. However, Singapore is small and conservative in nature, therefore not much room to be developed. As the development is not full, it become partial and weird, e.g. Singaporean men are more stable as they do not want to divorce but do not mean that they love their wives, they can still love women outside but maintain a married man status.

About 10 to 20 years ago, there were not many expatriates in Singapore. After Singapore gradually replacing Hong Kong to be regional hub, expatriates are getting more and more in Singapore. Singaporean men are proud to be friends with Angmohs and like to be their tour .....
Posted by on Sat, 29 Aug 2009 at 17:14 PM
I can see that this article is basically spot on. Good information for the would be traveler who has never been to Singapore and who does not understand Singaporean ladies
Posted by on Sat, 29 Aug 2009 at 09:48 AM
honestly, ang mor guys cannot manage their own girls, come to asia to get our girls. our guys cannot manage our own girls, find foreign brides.

there are a lot of truth in what he said and we observed those tissues lying around in foodcourt and hawker centres.

there is nothing we can do, all our girls are pampered and live in the first world country, everyone wants to be rich and famous. and did not know we are actually becoming very selfish and self-centred also.
Posted by EnigmaE on Fri, 28 Aug 2009 at 10:16 AM
Geez, the movies depiction of Western men and women have given us Asians a grossly false impression of what Western men and wome are like. Please live for some years in the West and you will find you cannot stereotype any person be it, he or she is white, black, yellow, green or blue.

In my experiences, I have come across people of all races and creed and they are basicaly the same... i.e decent people who work hard to have a good life and to cherish their family.
Ordinary folks with ordinary problems and jobs with great family values. In fact, I find the Singapore scene etheral and fake....our values are confused and warped.Our problems are internal and not external.
Posted by honkypong on Fri, 28 Aug 2009 at 00:08 AM
This is not a personal attack on anyone but if the writer is simply trying to stir up some comments on her writing then I say she is really sad. If you're a SG girl, then shame on you to be generalizing us women like that (plus it seems as if the only place you frequent is that of "Attica" or goodness knows where and if you're a foreigner, surely you do not know enough and therefore have no right to write about SG girl the way you did. Whatever the case, this article is simply bad from top down, left right or center. I really hope foreigners who happens to come across this article does not think SG girls are what this writer portrays us to be (I'm visiting this site away from SG and am appalled that this article actually finds a space to be published in this .....
Posted by on Thu, 27 Aug 2009 at 23:49 PM

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