DEAR EMILY,

I am already 34 years old and feel I am now in a crisis because, at this late age, I am still single.

I used to have a boyfriend who truly loved me, but I left him because I felt he couldn’t give me the life I have been dreaming of. Then I fell in love with a guy on the Internet, but nothing came out of that, either.

I think I deserve to be alone because the story of my life keeps going on and on with the same outcome.

I need someone to tell me how crazy I am and how weird I am becoming.

MAJ

I don’t think you are crazy or weird. You’re possibly reading too many romance stories and expect a Prince Charming to come down from his white horse and sweep you off to Neverland.

If you just wanted a man, you would have, without a doubt, married your boyfriend who loved you. You left him him because you had this fantasy about a beautiful tomorrow and thought he was not the person to provide it? Just remember that fairy tales end the moment you get married!

You have clearly so much time in your hands, and this is making you feel lost and don’t know whether you’re coming or going. That can be a problem to someone who’s alone and probably bored.

At 34, being single should not be a source of worry or considered a big deal. Whatever for?

This is the time to explore the environment around you. You’re at that age when you can rein in your life and start doing what you want to do. Control your emotional demons, go where you want to go, and make solo decisions on how to go about it.

You have the nod of society on your side. Nobody can accuse you anymore of being too young to make complex decisions, or too old as not to try to court risks.

Try to get away from thinking too much about men! Didn’t you yourself realize you’re not quite that good in that department either—as your “life keeps going on and on with the same outcome?”

So, get off the cartwheel and focus your sights on things that will lift your spirit and make you a more thinking and productive individual. Anything to divert your attention from men, and yourself.

Sure, you’ll find quite a few of them who are wonderful to be with. But knowing your state of mind, you could attract the types who might only take you for a short romp inside the bushes—with no intention of staying. Obviously, there’s no forever there. Just a lot more of the same heartaches, more insecurity to your already vulnerable self.

Love will come when it comes. Don't force it. Otherwise, you'll only find it in all the wrong places.

In the meantime, get a life.