updated 12 May 2014, 14:46
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Tue, Apr 12, 2011
The Star/ANN
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Young and knocked up

Dear Thelma

I AM a teenage girl. I don't really know what to do with my life anymore. I am in love with D. He is a year older than me. For the year that we were together, everything was perfect despite our little break-ups. But somehow, he'd always come back to me. Until recently.

We had been fighting a lot of late. And he'd begun to call my best friend, talking to her till 7am. Yet, he had no time for me, even though I needed him. Not to say I didn't trust him but I wondered why he was suddenly pulling away from me.

One night I confronted him about this. We were arguing so much that he fell asleep and forgot to lock his phone. His father happened to pick up his phone and see all my messages to him. When questioned, D told his dad I was only a close friend. Since then his father started keeping a close eye on him, like picking him up right after school or tuition.

Shortly after, he broke up with me, swearing at me and issuing threats to make me stay away. At first I stood strong but subsequently, I began blaming myself. I miss him more and more. And pain never leaves me. I tried talking to him but he rejected me.

The worst part is, I am four months pregnant with his child. He also told me he had fallen in love with my best friend.

Life's bad to me. D looks at me now with hate and it hurts deeply. I just want him back. I can't just give up on him or the baby. What should I do?

Pregnant Teen

YOU need to talk to an adult you trust because being pregnant and alone is scary. Do not write off your parents as regardless, they will love and support you through this.

If you want to keep your baby, you need to grow up very quickly. Although you believe you love this boy so much and think that you cannot live without him, be emotionally prepared. Most likely, he will be shocked and frightened of this unexpected responsibility. As he is still financially dependent on his family, he really cannot do much to help you get through your pregnancy. Worse, he has been fighting, quarrelling and trying to break off with you.

Try to think rationally and sensibly. You need to go for an immediate medical check-up with a gynaecologist. You need money and assistance. You have to plan for your baby's future and you cannot do this by yourself. Your parents will have to step in and talk to your boyfriend and his parents as they should know the truth. Having sex with an underage girl is statutory rape and although you do not want to press charges, your boyfriend cannot ignore the consequences completely.

If you are afraid, talk to a friend, relative or your teacher. This is not the time to think only of your love for this boy. He is still uncertain of his feelings and thinks that he has fallen for your best friend. He is still a young guy who is fooling around.

While this seems so brutal of him, teenage love is usually fragile and tender. He is obviously not ready for love and commitment. You were two young people messing around without understanding the seriousness of having sex carelessly.

However, this is not the right time for blame and regret. You still seem to think that getting the guy back is your priority. You just want him back and away from your best friend. You miss him and reckon that this is the biggest challenge you face. Actually, you have to tell yourself that you are soon to be a mother. You have to learn to take care of a new, fragile life when you are hardly an adult. It is an enormous task and now you must be strong, brave and responsible.


readers' comments
Ah! The follies of our youth...10 minutes of pleasure and lust always end with a life time of regret angst and suffering...I thought with all the big talk that kids nowadays mature fast and more street smart because of Internet in the PRESS seems don't hold water anymore...Kids nowadays are as naive and stupid as kids of yesteryear too..thank you to the parents ..
Posted by ST2007 on Thu, 14 Apr 2011 at 09:36 AM

Posted by sbredsox on Wed, 13 Apr 2011 at 22:23 PM

ehhh.. 你在跟谁讲话?
Posted by perceivedtobe on Wed, 13 Apr 2011 at 09:08 AM
You will need to raise your pregnancy issue with his family and yours and decide the way forward quickly . What matter most is the child who will need your upmost love and care after he/she is born . I know it is difficult but you really need to learn to let go since he is no longer interested in the relationship else this suffering/misunderstandings for both parties will prolong .
Posted by Pinnacledeal on Wed, 13 Apr 2011 at 07:30 AM
Did he rape you? :cool:
Posted by sbredsox on Tue, 12 Apr 2011 at 11:21 AM
history WILL repeat itself, playback again and again.
think and decide wisely.
Posted by perceivedtobe on Tue, 12 Apr 2011 at 11:18 AM
You may love him, but he don't love you. Think about this clearly and you will get what I mean on your next step.
Posted by mystrawberry on Tue, 12 Apr 2011 at 11:13 AM

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