updated 25 Dec 2011, 02:51
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Mon, Oct 24, 2011
The Star/ANN
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Tired of being alone

I READ your column every Sunday and I would like to share my story with you. I'm a divorcee and have raised three children by myself and they are all grown up now. All of them have their own lives and I do feel loney without company by my side. I have longed for a relationship but could not find a match, thanks perhaps to my 12-hour-day work with only one off-day each week.

Sometimes while I am driving or when I reach home, I feel extremely lonely when my children are not at home. Many people have advised me to go out to socialise and mix around. But I dislike going out and prefer to stay home after long hours of work.

I've been thinking what will happen to me when I get older. I know that there are many men out there, but I have no idea where to find them. I am just an ordinary woman who would like to have someone to pamper and take care of me as I am really tired of being alone and working hard for my children all these years.

Lonely Divorcee

IF you think that a guy is the answer to your loneliness, you will not find him if you stay home after work. And be warned that the fellow you could find if you try harder at social networking, might not be the white knight you hope for.

It would be easier not to expect too much if you only wish for companionship. Perhaps the first step would be to keep yourself busy with activities that would help you get out of the house. Having friends to talk to, and share fun and laughter with, will alleviate some of your loneliness. Doing something worthwhile that will keep you interested and energised would be a plus for your peace of mind. And how about charitable work if you feel that you lack focus and reward at this time of your life?

Many women keep busy travelling, building up hobbies or finding interests to fill their days. Do not shut yourself away from your children as you could offer dinner once a week, just to catch up and talk. Although they are busy, they should make time for you, their mother. You have worked hard bringing them up so do not be afraid to ask for time together. You will be a lot happier if you are not always on your own.

We all need love, joy and laughter in our lives. Family is always the warmest and closest. Love from a man may not happen so easily so find other ways to keep yourself contented and fulfilled. When your heart and mind are empty, you will find the hours difficult to pass. So be encouraged by the many women who have found life worth living with or without a man.

more: alone, divorce
readers' comments

tmfoo only has enough money to buy a cheap computer and pay for the cheapest broadband plan to talk in A1.

And you are right about me. I go to country clubs quite often, :p
Posted by smickno on Sat, 29 Oct 2011 at 12:17 PM
There so much to do in singapore. You have $ like tmfoo, you can visit casino. No money like Smickno, you can go CC.
Posted by goondoon on Sat, 29 Oct 2011 at 10:52 AM
most single women i know of, include divorcees are not 100% lonely ...most have own circles of friends and families, so really not the loneliness you think, in fact, when given a chance to have a boyfriend, most likely than not, there isn't any push and pull factors ...that explained why most prefer single, i always hear government ask singaporean to have more babies, the problem seems to be single prefer to be single, the longer single remain single, the harder they able to adjust to live with someone else, that is the reality ...

also singapore women had been well known to be independent and well travelled, so it is natural for them to put men in the spot when comes to dating, sizing them up over and over again, nobody would like to be in that position a successful dating itself too became even .....
Posted by jameslee58 on Sat, 29 Oct 2011 at 10:36 AM

This becoming quite common in SG, I think.
Just take a look at this forum - quite few here almost full time to keep themselves occupied and hopefully not lonely, so much so that 1 of them seem cannot live without this forum.:D

But yes, there is time when one got return home - an empty one. That's why we should have more children or mistresses/masters and schedule it such that the 1-2 youngest ones still so young to keep us company right up to near deathbed. After that, their own problems. :D
Posted by realtest on Mon, 24 Oct 2011 at 16:01 PM

Is good boy la. Before you leave you make such mistake. haha

Anyway, take care. Ciao :D
Posted by goondoon on Mon, 24 Oct 2011 at 15:33 PM

are you down with some serious illness?
Posted by A_Commoner on Mon, 24 Oct 2011 at 15:31 PM

Yes dear. There must surely come a time when all of us must return to where we came from. Uncle smickno cannot be here to take care of you anymore. Remember to be a good girl and go to bed early. Early to bed, early to rise, understand?

As it is said, if there is anything good we can do whilst on this sojourn, let us do it now. Uncle smickno has shown the way. We came to this world alone, and we shall leave it alone. Often, we are also alone whilst in the world.

Posted by smickno on Mon, 24 Oct 2011 at 15:29 PM

Uncle Smickno,

You are leaving for good? :confused:
Posted by goondoon on Mon, 24 Oct 2011 at 15:23 PM

going to china to live in a village with no internet access? :D
Posted by A_Commoner on Mon, 24 Oct 2011 at 15:23 PM're calling me? :p:p

As they say, all good things must come to an end. Before I go, I dedicate this song to all who are tired of being alone:
Posted by smickno on Mon, 24 Oct 2011 at 15:21 PM

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