Dear Annie:

I recently married for the second time. We each brought two teenage children into the marriage.

My problem is that we spend significantly more money on his two children than on mine. His ex-wife contributes nothing toward their support, and he pays all their expenses, which is fine. My ex-husband sends his check like clockwork.

However, my husband spends freely on his children, but expects me to account for any spending on mine. I want to scream when he makes judgments about what I want to buy for them. In a few years, we will be paying full college tuition for both of his children. My kids, however, are getting one-third from me, one-third from my ex and the other third they are expected to pay themselves. This certainly influences their choice of schools.

When I think of the money we're putting out for his two kids, it makes me want to spend more money on my kids to even things out. I know this is childish, but it's making me lose sleep at night. How can I get past the feeling that my kids are getting shortchanged? -- Sleepless in N.J.

Dear Sleepless: This is a common problem with divorced parents who have remarried. Your husband feels responsible for his children's welfare, but he thinks your ex-husband is responsible for yours. While you say your kids are being shortchanged, your husband might believe they are benefiting twice. The two of you need to sit down and establish a budget detailing who pays what costs and what is discretionary, and how to make it equal. If you cannot do this on your own, consult a professional.