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Sun, Jan 11, 2009
New Straits Times
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Debunking myths about rape

TAMMY (not her real name) was working at a fast-food restaurant when her friend picked her up by motorbike one night. It was late and she was just happy to get off her feet and go home.

About 20 minutes later, the motorcycle stopped and Tammy, 19, realised that it wasn't where she was supposed to be. When the rider took off his helmet, Tammy was in shock. The entire time she was on the bike, she was sitting with a stranger. She woke up hours later in an unfamiliar place. The rider was gone. She was raped.

Jenny (not her real name) came to Malaysia looking for greener pastures. She was going to a nearby sundry shop to add credit to her mobile phone. While walking near a taxi stand, a taxi driver got out of his vehicle, pulled her into the nearby bushes and raped her. Her clothes were tattered and torn and she was in a pitiful state when her friend took her to the hospital.

Cindy (not her real name) was an unhappily married woman. She had an affair with a man she had only known for a few months. Due to remorse, she ended the affair. In the weeks that followed, she received endless calls and text messages from the man. He threatened to expose their affair if she didn't see him one last time. Cindy tried to save her marriage by talking to him. But when she arrived at his house, there was no talking. Cindy was raped.

Samantha (not her real name) was shopping in a mall with friends. They probably stopped to buy a drink, but none of them remembered what happened after that. She got up hours later in a rented house, physically hurt and raped.

Linda (not her real name) was only 10 when her father entered her room one morning. The mentally challenged girl stayed alone in the house all day with her father who worked as a security guard. She was helpless when her father raped her, day after day. Her sister came to her rescue when she herself was about to be raped by their father. She told her mother what had happened and they went to the hospital.

All these women were raped at different hours of the day. They were from various age groups. They were raped in houses and behind bushes. They worked in different places. They all dressed differently and spoke different languages.

But they all had one thing in common. They were raped. There's no one type of person that could be a rape victim. It could be anyone.

Hospital Kuala Lumpur nursing sister R. Malathy says rape victims are of all ages and personalities.

"We receive at least one rape victim a day. Some are brought by the police, some come on their own and some with family or friends.

"It's difficult to have a standard method of getting the story from them because they all have different stories and different ways of dealing with the crime.

"Some of them arrive at the hospital crying hysterically, some are calm, while others scream that they want to kill the perpetrator."

She says the most difficult part of talking to rape victims is getting them to open up again.

"You and I can never understand how it feels to be raped, so it's difficult to relate. We've to try to win over their confidence and tell them that we're there to help them.

"We do this to make them feel comfortable and not be another stranger they can't trust."

Some victims have suicidal tendencies, she says, and have to be counselled for hours.

"I try to feed them positive thoughts and assure them that this is not the end of the world. They need to know that life will go on and they still have a future.

"The trust they've lost in humanity may be difficult to regain but we try to assure them the best we can."

Hospital Kuala Lumpur head of emergency department Datuk Prof Dr Abu Hassan Asaari says the one-stop crisis centre is necessary to send a message to rapists that they can't get away with this crime.

"We've made the process of coming to the hospital after being raped as smooth as possible. We want victims to come forward knowing that their situation will be handled with extreme confidentiality.

"We don't want them to think that they will be exposed to ridicule. Even the policewomen who bring the victim to the hospital are asked to wear normal clothing and not uniforms."

He says the process of gathering evidence could seem like a second rape and has to be done in a humanistic approach.

"We always make sure the victim is in a stable condition before we start gathering evidence. Some of them may be bleeding extensively. We have to be careful not to damage evidence but the victim is our priority.

"The state of mind the victim is in is also important. Some are distraught and lost. We have counselling services available and give them as much help as possible."

As part of a post-traumatic stress survey, the centre contacted rape victims over the phone after a month of the crime. They were afraid of the dark, had problems sleeping and were reluctant to talk about the rape again.

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