updated 18 Jan 2013, 04:11
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Fri, Jan 11, 2013
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Snooping: Cute or crazy?
by Jeanne Tai

Is snooping harmful?

Experts agree that snooping in itself isn't always damaging. Rather, it's dealing with the fallout that's tricky - and can lead to unhealthy situations.

"Some women aren't prepared for what they'll come across," says Daniel. "The sudden surprise and shock can cause an overload of emotions, which ends up controlling them, leading to irrational thinking." Plagued with mistrust, jealousy and resentment, the relationship can plunge into a downward spiral.

Adds relationship guru Karen Khng, founder of dating agency Love Script: "You have to ask yourself: can you deal with whatever answers you find? If you stay with him after finding out he's cheated, will you still be happy?"

Are you a snoop?

If you're constantly keeping tabs on your man, "ask where the insecurity is coming from", advises Karen Khng, founder of dating agency Love Script. "Does it stem from a hurtful past relationship? Do you feel the need to control your partner? Reflect on this instead of rationalising that you have to check up on him."

Decide on mutually acceptable boundaries: For instance, you could agree to inform each other if you're going out with a friend of the opposite sex.

Nosey men

Yes, men will snoop too if they believe their partners are unfaithful. They'll check their girlfriends' phones and Whatsapp messages, says private investigator Raymond Lim. He's also been hired to trail girlfriends suspected of cheating.

However, he adds that women tend to be more meticulous and "detail-oriented" in their own investigations - they pay greater attention to the time and date of suspicious Whatsapp messages, for instance.

Cute or crazy?

Guys weigh in on girls who snoop.

"Snooping shows a great deal of insecurity. We should always respect someone's privacy. And trust them." - Joel Chow 26, executive

"It can be quite endearing if you have nothing to hide and your relationship is healthy. Plus, it shows that she's afraid of losing you." - Chan Shiaw Yan, 26, management associate

"Women should have an honest conversation with their other halves first, because snooping undermines trust." - Hozefa Aziz Singapore Wala, 27, entrepreneur

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