updated 2 Nov 2013, 08:59
Login password
Thu, Oct 17, 2013
Her World
Email Print Decrease text size Increase text size
The Idealist
by Aretha Loh

The Idealist

Content producer Fay Sim, 28, believes her Mr Right is somewhere out there. And until he arrives, she refuses to settle for any less.

"People I meet for the first time think of me as a social butterfly - I'm open, chatty and friendly to everyone. Even my close guy friends consider me a real 'bro'. But when it comes to relationships, it's an entirely different story. I'm very careful when it comes to choosing a boyfriend.

Some years back, I used to have a 24-point checklist for my potential husband, which included things like having clean toenails, being articulate, having a global perspective on things and being able to withstand the perils of Singapore's public transport system.

I chucked the list after a while as I felt that it was, well, too restrictive. But even then, I still have pretty exacting standards. For instance, when I meet a guy, I always try to visualise if we'll look good as a couple when we walk down the street hand-in-hand. This means he has to be bigger-built than my 1.7m frame, have thick black hair and fair skin.

Looks aside, he needs to be family-oriented and a 'people person'; someone who's comfortable around children and the elderly. He must also be able to hold intelligent and meaningful conversations.

And if I can't 'see' us being together, I won't give him a chance at all.

I know my requirements make me sound idealistic, but that's because I would rather wait for my Mr Right than commit to relationships 'Wi-Fi' style - being open to anyone who's somewhat compatible with me. Th e only concession I'll make - and this is only if I'm still single in my mid-30s - is that he doesn't have to be a looker. Everything else stands.

The closest I came to being in a relationship was in 2010. I met this guy in a language class and we hit it on quite well. We chatted online regularly and went to exhibitions together. All was going well until he wanted to define our relationship after just a few months.

I was scared at how fast things were moving and, after some thought, I realised that I wasn't emotionally and physically attracted to him. So, I 'ended' things and I haven't gone out with anyone since. I'm most affected by stories of couples who cheat because of a communication breakdown, so being able to communicate well with my partner is important to me.

And I believe this is how I'll know instinctively when I've found The One: He'll be able to communicate with me on a deeper level than anyone else can, and we'll be able to share our most intimate thoughts and emotions.

And no, I'm not the sort who gets envious when I see couples on the streets. Life turns out differently for everyone, right?

Sometimes I wonder what it'll be like if I'm single forever - I reckon I'll grumble about it every now and then, but I'll be contented in the end. It's easy to dwell on the downside of singlehood and ask myself questions like 'Am I not good enough?' But I choose not to. I banish the self-pity and shower love on my family and close friends instead. Life is about loving and being loved, even if there isn't a Mr Right beside me."


<< Back >> Next

readers' comments

Copyright © 2013 Singapore Press Holdings Ltd. Co. Regn. No. 198402868E. All rights reserved.