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updated 27 Mar 2012, 01:39
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Sat, Mar 07, 2009
The Straits Times
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Dry run for mums-to-be
by Theresa Tan

MEET Bob and Abigail, life-size dolls programmed to cry - loudly and often - for food and nappy changes. They also need to be burped, just like real babies.

These dolls have a job to do - prepare unwed teenagers for motherhood, and get them to think about their ability to raise a baby.

Sanctuary House, a charity that reaches out to women facing unwanted pregnancies, has bought 10 of them.

Mr Noel Tan, the charity's programme director, said: 'A lot of mums we see have fanciful, unrealistic ideas about babies. They think, 'How difficult can it be to look after one?''

Indeed, many teens refuse to put their babies up for adoption because they think they can cope - until reality bites.

A 17-year-old whom Mr Tan helped last year was adamant about keeping her child, but changed her mind just 1-1/2 months later when she realised she could not juggle her studies and the baby.

Besides making these young women think through making room in their lives for a child, the dolls also give them a dry run on the ins and outs of caring for a newborn.

Sanctuary House believes that if these young mothers are prepared for the crying, night feeds and constant attention babies demand, they will be less likely to take their frustrations out on their children. Mr Tan said: 'We have seen babies end up in hospitals because they were shaken too hard or were flung about.'

The charity's volunteers care for these unwanted babies while their mums decide whether to keep them or give them up for adoption.

Sanctuary House, which was set up in 2005, has so far cared for about 50 babies. One in five of them had a teenage mother, said Mr Tan.

He stressed that the charity is not a 'baby drop', or a place to leave unwanted babies.

The bulk of the pregnant women there give their babies up for adoption. For some, it is because the baby's father had left them; others have financial problems or are mentally ill.

Among these mothers-to-be are a handful of teens who have been given one of these dolls to look after for a day or two.

Many emerged from the experience saying it was a 'scary but useful experience', said Mr Tan.

He added: 'They didn't realise that a crying baby can drive one nuts, and sleep deprivation can do things to you.'

Some professionals who counsel young unwed mums, however see pitfalls in using these dolls. Pastor Andrew Choo, who runs a shelter for pregnant and other troubled teens, said: 'What happens if the girl is so traumatised by the doll that she falls into depression and decides to abort the baby?'

To this, Mr Tan said: 'It's not like we want to scare them so we can take their babies, but the mums need to know what they are in for before they decide what to do with their babies.'

The charity plans to give talks at secondary schools on relationships and use the dolls to give students an idea of the responsibilities of having a baby.

Sanctuary House's initiative comes at a time when counsellors are seeing more teens grappling with sex and boy-girl issues.

More than 800 babies were born to teenagers each year in the last four years. Even more teenagers do not see the pregnancies through: About 1,400 teens aborted their babies each year in 2006 and 2007.

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Just like a real baby

WITHIN each of these life-size dolls is a tangle of electronics sophisticated enough for it to be programmed as an 'easy' baby or an 'extra fussy' one.

A doll on extra fussy mode demands a feed every 1-1/2 hours and wants to be cuddled three times more than one set on easy mode, said Mr Noel Tan, Sanctuary House's programme director. The charity has bought 10 of these US-made dolls at $1,200 each.

They are so realistic that they have delicate necks which need support so their heads do not loll around. When they wail in their recorded voices, it means they want to be fed or need a diaper change, or a cuddle.

They follow the schedule of a real baby, which means they wake up and cry at intervals. They even soil their specially designed diapers. If you treat them right, they coo. These dolls can also tell on you if you fail as a parent. They can churn out reports on your performance.

Said Mr Tan: 'Such reports have helped us see how well the girls took care of the 'baby', such as did she give the child enough milk or change its diapers?'

This article was first published in The Straits Times.

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