updated 10 Mar 2014, 22:33
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Tue, Feb 18, 2014
The Straits Times
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Is a ring forever
by Sumiko Tan

What should you do if you're not happy with your wedding ring? Is it the done thing to change it?

Because H and I got married in haste, we ended up with wedding rings that don't really suit us.

His gold band is too thick for his fingers, making them look kind of stumpy (I have workman's hands, he always says; no, no, I tell him, you don't.)

My ring is too yellow; my fingers look better with jewellery in platinum or silver.

But we had rushed into marriage, you see.

I had gone to visit him in Wales in March 2010. We were just friends then, or "siblings" as I liked to describe us (at least on my part).

One week later, we decided to get married. Or, at least, I did.

Two nights before I was due to fly home, he asked me to be his girl.

When I said yes, he said happily: "I'll buy you a ring."

For some reason, I assumed he meant a diamond engagement ring.

(I found out later that engagement and marriage weren't quite on his mind. It would have been too presumptuous at that point, he said. All he was thinking of was getting me a girlfriend ring with a coloured stone or something.)

Anyway, I became very excited and went to bed dreaming of a big, fat, glittery, diamond-stacked ring sitting on that finger.

The next day, we went ring hunting.

By then, I was using the term "engagement ring" freely. If he was alarmed by that and how quickly the relationship was moving, he didn't show it.

Problem was, we were in the seaside city of Swansea, which isn't exactly Cartier Central.

The jewellers we visited didn't have an impressive (to me) collection of diamond rings. I didn't like their shape, colour or size. Nothing caught my eye.

My heart sank as we made our way out of what must have been the sixth store we visited. It was late afternoon already, the shops were going to close for the day soon and I had a flight to catch the next morning. There was no more time.

All my life I've wanted an engagement ring. It symbolises, for me, a man's commitment, love and fidelity, qualities that were lacking in my past relationships.


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