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Mon, Apr 14, 2014
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School of frock
by Jeanmarie Tan

Who's on top? And who's a flop? Our headmistress of haute couture Jeanmarie Tan grades the bestand worst-dressed celebrities of the week.


Premiere of The Other Woman in Munich, Germany
Dress: Emilio Pucci
Shoes: Manolo Blahnik

The US actress is going for gold all right, and what a shining moment this red carpet comeback is.

Clean, sexy and simply killer, the intricately embellished longsleeved nude and metallic mini-dress also showcases her perfect pins.

Premiere of The Amazing Spider-Man 2 in London, UK
Gown: Atelier Versace

This bright mustard pleated floor-length number is probably one of the US actress' most amazing looks to date and I'm digging the subtle padded shoulders.

But is it just me, or is the way the bodice is falling over the waistband giving Stone a distracting faux "muffin top" effect?


amfAR Foundation for Aids Research dinner and auction in Sao Paulo, Brazil
Gown: Valentino

Life sure isn't fair when all it takes for this South African Victoria's Secret Angel to pull off a big ol' embroidered duchess satin ball gown the colour of a neon yellow highlighter is great shoulders and a nice tan.

Annual Academy of Country Music Awards in Las Vegas, US
Dress and shoes: Not known

I don't know the ID of her get-up or what she's doing at a country music awards show. But what I do know is the US actress is giving 40-something ladies a good name by looking fab in her iridescent raspberry sequined bell-sleeved minidress.

Schutz Summer 2014 Collection launch in New York, US
Skirt, top and jacket: Cushnie et Ochs
Shoes: Schutz

We're used to seeing Victoria's Secret Angels in next to nothing, but that's part of their job when they're shilling lingerie.

The Brazilian model is promoting Schutz shoes here, but still feels the need to get half-naked while she's at it. Occupational hazard?

Anyway, that red bralet top is just too try-hard for the occasion. And why bother covering up with the business-like blazer at all?

Annual Academy of Country Music Awards in Las Vegas, US
Gown: Zuhair Murad

Looks like some Zuhair Murad-Shakira collaborations are more successful than others.

The Colombian singer was my top pick from last week wearing the same designer, but this time, the black web detailing and what seems like a million cut-outs are kind of awful.

Teal isn't her colour either.

amfAR Foundation for Aids Research dinner and auction in Sao Paulo, Brazil
Gown: Saint Laurent

The British fashionista proves that even supermodels have their Kryptonite.

Not only is this tasselled semi-sheer boho sack dress an embarrassingly lazy effort, it takes a special kind of power to make something fuchsia pink appear so drab.

Mad Men Season 7 premiere in Los Angeles, US
Dress: Roksanda Ilincic
Shoes: Stuart Weitzman

What I find more questionable than the laughable WWE-sized gold-plated belt is the messy amateurish side braid.

The US actress said her inspiration was Game Of Thrones' "dragon-slaying mum", but we all know even Daenerys Targaryen wouldn't dream of leaving her tent with hair like that.


Annual Academy of Country Music Awards in Las Vegas, US
Gown: Georges Chakra

The US singer's boobsquishing white chiffon halter gown with sequinned black trim, lace and ribbon detailing is so bad, I need to invent a new word for it - spectacky (as in, spectacularly tacky).

Only a drunk knocked-up bride on her way to a quickie Vegas wedding should be allowed to put it on.

This article was published on April 12 in The New Paper.

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