After seven years as a loving couple, Gao and girlfriend Deng finally tied the knot in 2006. Three years and several rows over the washing up later, they are hastily trying to sever it again.

They are just two of the casualties of the marriage curse hitting the post-80s generation in China, among whom divorce has increased almost 8 percent, according to government statistics.

Gao and Deng, who were both born to single-child families in the 1980s, filed for divorce at the Mentougou District Court in Beijing early this year, citing constant arguments over the housework, local media reported.

The claim was dismissed but, according to court records, the couple was not the only ones looking to divorce over what many people would call trivial matters.

The marriage of Wang Jing, 24, and Chen Sen, both from Beijing, only lasted 18 months as Wang complained her husband had become addicted to online games, missed meals and did not care for her when she was sick.


Chen Juan, 27, dumped her groom Zhou Jun, who was two years her junior, just before giving birth last August because he talked dirty, did not buy her clothes and seldom went with her for pre-natal examinations. Her case was also dismissed but she has now launched a second attempt.

More than 10 million couples registered to wed last year, 10.8 percent more than in 2007, according to the Ministry of Civil Affairs. About 73 percent of those were aged under 30.

Meanwhile, 2.26 million were divorced in courts or by civil affairs bureaus, an 8.1-percent rise on 2007, showed ministry statistics.

In 2005, the figures stood at 8.23 million marriages and 1.78 million divorces.

The rising trend, visible across the country, raises serious questions about the mentality of the generation, say experts.

"The post-80s people from one-child families are such a unique generation," said Liu Fengqin, of the Beijing Maple Women's Psychological Counseling Center. "They are born and grow up under a spotlight.

"They've directly benefited from the fruits of China's reform and opening-up, and their mindset reflects the tremendous changes in social transition.

"They are intelligent and open-minded, but are often labeled as spoilt and less considerate of others, which affects the quality of their marital life."

Following policies drawn up in the 1970s, people under 30 from one-child families make up 29 percent of the population, according to a national sample survey of 1 percent of China's citizens in 2005.

Meanwhile, research by the Chinese Academy of Social Sciences (CASS) in 2007 showed, of those born between 1976 and 1986, the average age of those getting married was 24, based on a study of 2,888 adults from single-child families.

But the question is: Are they equipped with the right mindset needed for a long-term commitment, or are they just too self-centered?

"An only-child grows up constantly being taken care of by family," Liu explained. "So a lot of young people are mentally immature and not ready to take on big life challenges, such as marriage or having children.

"Unlike their parents, who experienced political turbulence and economic difficulties in the 1960s and 70s, they have not encountered many struggles in life. So when they have disputes in marriage, they feel helpless and may easily give up."

Shi Qilan, who has one daughter in Shenyang, Liaoning province, said couples must work together to overcome their selfish ways.

"They should show more mutual understanding and tolerance. After getting married, they probably feel unbalanced having to think of someone else. But they must help each other, otherwise marriage just becomes one big tug of war," she said.

Another reason for the rise in divorce could be the fact the procedure for marriages and separations was streamlined in October 2003 with the new Regulation on Marriage Registration.

Li Mingshun, a law professor at the China Women's University in Beijing, explained that premarital checks are made voluntary, while applicants looking for permits to marry or part do not have to present a certificate issued by their employers, which was a necessity in the past.

Couples divorcing at civil affairs bureaus can now obtain the certificates the day they apply, no longer having to wait a month for screening.

Sociologists have also called attention to couples from rural areas among China's 140 million migrant workers.


"People between 20 and 30 take up about 30 percent of the migrant worker population, while married people occupy 60 to 70 percent," said Duan Chengrong, an expert on the migrant community at Renmin University of China.

Shenzhen, a special economic zone in Guangdong province, is home to more than 4 million migrant workers and, in a marriages survey conducted by a local women's federation in 2004, extramarital affairs, domestic violence and clashes of personalities were the top three causes of divorce.

Despite the rise in flash marriages and lightening-quick divorces among the post-80s generation, they themselves think the problem is not as bad as older people make out.

"The public has overly criticized this generation," said Zhao Rui, 27, who is planning his wedding in Beijing. "We are products of the time and we should not be blamed for all the problems we encounter."

Those from single-child families still display the traditional values while also embodying modern thinking, he said, with husbands and wives now looking for independence and equality, as well as a suitable partner.

Before the family planning policies of the 1970s, Chinese families would often be large, extended affairs, with three or four generations living under one roof. Now, they are usually tight, nuclear families of only two parents and one child.

The study by the CASS showed almost 50 percent of adults from only-child units preferred the nuclear structure, while only 35 percent said they did not live with their parents.


"Older generations who only have one child look for marital stability for their child, especially if they have experienced political turbulence or a lack of daily necessities," said Tian Fanjiang, CEO of Baihe.com, a major online dating and relationship counseling service with 15 million registered members across China.

"But these couples don't just want to get by, they are in pursuit of pure love, happiness and enjoyment. Marriage is not the once-in-a-lifetime thing it was for their parents or grandparents."

Wang Yin and her husband are among the success stories of the post-80s generation. An only-child from Beijing, Wang has been married for six years and says the trick to a good marriage is communication.

"My husband and I are very different people, but we appreciate and learn from each other," she said. "We respect each other's space and always try to find a way to solve a conflict of interest. We agree we are equal and should communicate even during an argument."

Wang also said half the fun of marriage was finding unique ways to solve a battle of wills. She added: "My husband can eat noodles or pancakes for every meal, and I love eating rice, so we agreed to alternate between eating noodles and rice. But as I do most of the cooking, he has had to eat rice more often, although I've also learnt some new dishes to generate his interest in rice."

Parents can also heap immense pressure onto an only-child, who is usually forced to carry the full weight of their hopes into a marriage.

Tian at Baihe.com said that at least a third of his website's members are accompanied on dates by a parent, and added: "Parents should realize their children would like to make decisions for themselves, rather than just do what they are told to do."

Psychologist Liu said parents helping out with their child's marriage or home life was not a bad idea, but they must learn not to get too involved.

"Parents should let go so children can learn to take care of things and tackle problems themselves," she said. "What is important now is young people receive marriage education, learn the different stages of a marriage and how to build a vision of family life."

Wang Yin said more marriage counselors should be available to coach couples whose relationships are on the rocks.

"Couples must learn how to manage the marriage just like they manage their careers," she added. "It is not something you can just ignore and take for granted.

"Your marriage will grow stronger if you just realize it is not an easy job."