MY SPATE of kiasu parenting acts continues.

A few weeks ago, I decided to teach my three-year-old son, Julian, how to deal with stranger danger. Unfortunately, my pervert prep talk backfired.

It happened like this. One evening, Julian was running around the living room  stark naked after his evening bath – part of his daily diaper-free routine for potty-training – which is something he loves doing.

It occurred to me then that it was a good time to talk to him about how his  intimate regions are off-limits to strangers and other non-authorised adults.

As he pranced around, footloose and clothes-free, I told him: “Don’t ever let people who are not Mummy, Daddy or your grandparents touch your kuku, okay?

We need to do that when we bathe you, but other than that, nobody else should.”

He stopped jumping around, and looked at me with a slightly amused but puzzled expression. “Can I touch it myself?” he asked, finally.

With hindsight, I think I should have stopped right there and reassured him with some generic answer.

But, ever paranoid, I wanted to make sure the message sank in, and went as far as to enlist my husband to help act out scenarios in which strangers might try friendly lures, like offering sweets and car rides.

“What must you do?” I asked Julian, before supplying the answer dramatically: “Tell them: ‘STOP!’ And then run away!”

Julian became very quiet.

When I spoke to him, he stared at me with a weird, glazed look.

Oh no, I’ve traumatised my son, was my first thought.

After offering him treats, cuddling him and reassuring him
that everything was all right, Mummy was just pretending and telling him a story, he gradually reverted to his normal perky self again.

The Supportive Spouse and I agreed that Julian was probably a little too young to have engaged in such a discussion.

Still, I am of the opinion that it is never too early to start warning your kids about potential predators.

A report in The Sunday Times in April cited statistics suggesting that child  sex-abuse cases here have been on the up since 2000.

Contrary to what many people might think, boys are as susceptible to sexual abuse as girls, with many cases committed by an adult who is known to them – a neighbour, caregiver, or even a relative or parent.

And, with my son going through his nudist phase, I am naturally worried that he might not be able to understand or verbalise when physical contact with adults crosses the line of decency.

I surfed the Internet for some tips from child-safety experts and came across some good, commonsensical reminders.

Never let kids under 10 go to a public toilet on his or her own. Some children get abused with a parent waiting right outside.

Remind your kids not to reveal information about themselves to strangers. Even when your kid is with you, and a stranger comes up to make small talk, be wary when the stranger asks about which school your kid attends, and where you live.

Explain that threatening strangers come in all forms, and can seem very nice sometimes, such as the “uncle” who asks for help to look for a lost puppy.

Be aware of what’s happening in your kids’ lives and monitor their Internet usage.

Be watchful for any changes in behaviour signalling distress or sudden sexual  awareness.

So, never mind that Julian was a little bummed (pun intended) with my tales and theatre of hazard.

I’ll try again when he’s a little older. Wish me luck.

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