I AGREE with Minister for Community Development, Youth and Sports Vivian Balakrishnan that our society faces an “escalating situation” when it comes  to caring for our ageing parents.

The problem arises from the fact that our parents worked very hard to bring home the bacon and thus spent very little time with us while we were growing up.

As a result, some of us do not feel an emotional bond with our parents. Some may even feel that the only things they shared with their parents were  the same roof and surname.

Many parents are in for a rude shock if they think that their children will care for them in their old age.

This is because of societal change. Today, parents must not only provide for their children’s material needs, but also for their emotional well-being.
With more children coming from dysfunctional families, the problem may escalate in the future. Some children may even hate their parents for breaking up the family through divorce.

Studies have shown that children often become juvenile delinquents when their families break up.

The current recession may also make it financially difficult for some children to care for their ageing parents.

The trend of smaller families also means that there are fewer children to share the responsibility of caring for elderly parents.

My younger brother and I used to take turns to care for our ageing mother, who suffered a stroke two years ago.

Before her illness, she used to stay in our homes a few days at a time and we all got to enjoy her company. I sense that my mother simply wants to have us around. She does not expect us to give her an allowance.

Although it is important to provide for her physical needs, she simply wants us to respect and love her.

My mother now lives at my brother’s place as she is no longer mobile. My brother and I have engaged a maid to take care of her needs. Even though I have moved to Sydney, I try to call Mum as often as I can and return home every few months to see her.

She struggled all her life to supplement what little income our father earned as we were growing up, so it is only right that we love her as she grows old. - Mr Gilbert Goh Keow Wah

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