I’M 24, still a student, and have just broken up with my girlfriend of six years. She is 23 and recently returned home to continue her studies after two years abroad.

We had numerous problems with our long-distance relationship. She was busy and the Internet connection was bad.

We could not solve our problems; furthermore she remembered every problem that we had encountered. So she decided to call it off as she was not happy.

I know it was partially my fault, but I feel that breaking up over some minor misunderstanding is just too harsh.

I want to fix things and be happy as both of us had wanted a long-term relationship.

She used the problems that we faced to “predict” the future – she was worried that they would recur.

All I could do was assure her that we could solve the problems and things would be fine.

She felt she was not good enough for me and that I deserved someone better. But I have always wanted to be with her.

Both our mothers know what has happened and her mum is upset with her. She realises she has made a wrong decision, but she still feels that I will not be happy with her.

I have told her thousands of times that she is the one for me and she can always improve. Do you think it had to end this way?

She could have talked things over with me. I really love her and hope that she will return to me.

I feel helpless and depressed and cannot concentrate on whatever I do.

JJ

WHEN a girl feels that she is not good enough for you, it could mean that she senses your dissatisfaction and unhappiness about the relationship.

While you felt that the problems were small and insignificant, she took them to heart and decided that breaking up would end all the heartache and gripes.

Sometimes, we forget that the little issues that upset us every day build up to major hurt and resentment.

When you were apart, insecurities and fears probably rocked the relationship.

You complained that she was busy, and communication was bad.You constantly sought her assurance of love and attention but she had to concentrate on her studies.

Perhaps you could not understand why she had to neglect you.

Love should always be the priority, right? Balancing love and its demands can be very tiring when we have to deal with studies, career, personal expectations and future plans.

While she must have tried, you still found her lacking. All the little quarrels and bickering must have taken their toll. Ultimately, she preferred to take the blame and ask for the split because it is probably easier than talking about the real issues.

You expect her to improve and change her ways for you?

Frankly, this sounds arrogant and selfish. If you love your girl and want to win her love, stop pressuring her with your needs or her mother’s wish.

Do you really believe that she should take all the blame for the problems?

What about your part in building this relationship?

Were you supportive and encouraging when she needed time out for her studies, or did you get upset when she forgot to call or e-mail?

She wants you to be happy so she decided that you will be better off without her. Perhaps you should be more understanding of her needs and feelings.

It is easy to talk about love but let’s show her you are sincere. Give her time to think about this relationship.

Lay off the pressure.

Be a friend and listen to her heart. Love will come naturally when the two of you are in tune and in sync again.