updated 4 Feb 2013, 08:19
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Fri, 01 Feb 2013
Simply Her
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"I almost cheated on my husband"
by Tracy Heah

Are you unfaithful if all you’ve shared with another man was a hotdog, a walk and a kiss? Kathryn*, 38, tells TRACY HEAH how her almost-affair nearly led to divorce, And how she is now more in love with her husband than before.

*All names have been changed to protect their identitie.

I was perched on a bleacher in New York, sharing a hotdog with a handsome colleague. Our eyes were locked on the baseball game in front of us, and as we each took a bite from either end of the hotdog, our noses touched briefly.

I could see in his eyes he'd felt something, too. Even though we never really got together, my relationship with this man almost ended my marriage. My office distraction It was 2003. I was 28, and was in New York to meet my company's affiliates.

When Andreas walked into my hotel lobby to give me a ride to the office, I thought he was too good-looking to be real. He was 33, and had a boyish face, but possessed the confidence of an older man. He was tall, with dark hair and piercing blue eyes.

Even the way he uttered my boring name sent my heart aflutter. Andreas was Greek and his accented English was intoxicating. I reminded myself I was a married woman who was here for work and only work.

Once I snapped out of my twitterpated state, the small talk during our 90-minute drive to the office was easygoing. I let my guard down as he seemed like a pretty decent guy.

Mixing business with pleasure Every day, Andreas would pick me up at the hotel and drive me to the office, and after a full day of meetings, would drive me back to my hotel.

During these car rides, we chatted about everything. It was so easy to talk to him. He empathised when I told him of my troubles with my husband David, 31, who disliked the long hours I worked, even though he worked even longer hours. And he laughed at my anecdotes of my four-year-old son, Lucas. I learnt that he was married, and that his wife, who was in Athens, would join him in New York the following year.

My American colleagues teased me, saying Andreas "only had eyes for me". I hoped I didn't show I was infatuated, too. I decided then that working lunches were fine, but politely declined to have dinner and drinks alone with him after work it would be too much temptation.

I was slated to be in New York for 10 days, and Andreas offered to be my tour guide over the weekend. What started as him offering his arm as we walked, turned into us holding hands by the end of the day.

I'd been with my husband since I was 18 and was never an outrageous flirt, but here I was, giggling with Andreas. Our banter was playful, romantic and sexy. I felt like I was in an episode of Sex And The City, without the sex.

Andreas made me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. He would ask waiters if they'd ever seen anyone as pretty as me. But I told myself it was just in his culture to be that expressive, chivalrous and complimentary.

As the day progressed, I decided to block out the voice in my head that kept telling me this was wrong. I told myself I'd been neglected as a woman for so long, I should let myself be loved, just for today. No one would know.

We spent the next few days shopping and sightseeing. Andreas was just the opposite of David, who would never go shopping with me.

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Signs of a cheating spouse, according to divorce lawyer Datuk Mohd Zaidi Zain: Sex and intimacy is an important part of a relationship. A noticeable change or loss of interest in this area points to a problem in your relationship. (Photo:TNP)
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