updated 24 Dec 2010, 06:10
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Mon, Dec 20, 2010
The Star/ANN
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Don't take online relationships too personally

Dear Thelma
I'M a simple guy who is still studying. While doing community service last year, I met A and fell in love with her at first sight. I added her on Facebook and we started talking to each other.

A then gave me her phone number and we communicated through text messages. However, in the middle of the year, she stopped talking to me. I tried to start new conversations but she ignored me. I then tried to get over her and focused on my studies.

After a few weeks, B, whom I've known for a while, started talking to me. After many conversations, I started to like her, but B gave me the cold shoulder too, like A. I decided to forget about them.

Now A and B have started talking to me again. I feel like I'm being used as a toy by them. Whenever they're lonely, they talk to me. But when they have another person to talk to, they shut me off.

I wouldn't mind, but the fact that I like them disturbs me.

YOU are a sweet young guy who seems to love the gals. However, you are being too sensitive about their hot/cold behaviour. Chill and relax because you have plenty of time to learn more about these interesting but occasionally frustrating gals.

It's not love when you have yet to meet and know these girls properly. Cyber chats and Internet communication are limiting as you lose touch when the gals log off or do not respond.

Take this in your stride as there are many gals in the cyber world, although they probably play by the same rules.

They will chat to whoever they want, when the mood strikes them. It might never have occurred to them that you deem them "users" as they chat all the time to different people.

Do not take this too personally.

Frankly, these gals are not seriously involved with you. Until you find someone who will share time, thoughts and a part of her life with you, you do not have a relationship.

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