updated 16 Aug 2012, 09:45
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Mon, Aug 13, 2012
The Star/Asia News Network
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Men share their experiences as victims of abuse

PETALING JAYA, Malaysia: “We were both unhappy but whenever I suggested ending the relationship, she threatened to kill herself,” said an engineer who only wanted to be known as Krish, 27.

Theirs was a stormy three-year relationship with the woman often spreading rumours about his family, he said, adding that she had always restricted his movements as well.

He was not allowed to meet his buddies, especially his female friends, he said.

“She was always suspicious and jealous, yet she did not want to end the relationship,” he said, adding that he became depressed and lost touch with many of his friends then.

The relationship finally ended when he was offered a job overseas.

Another male victim, a teacher, claimed that he had photographs to show the scars on his body when he was assaulted by his wife on three occasions. He eventually sought help from a lawyer.

“The last time I made a police report was when she held two knives in her hands, threatening to kill me and asking me to fight with her.

“She also took away all my jewellery without my consent.”

His wife, he claimed, had also, on several occasions, thrown his belongings on the floor and overturned the table at home during arguments.

Family law practitioner Andy Low said most cases of domestic violence against men in Malaysia were in the form of mental abuse.

“As for physical abuse, we have seen cases where wives get their brothers or hire people to beat up their husbands,” he said.

His legal firm, he said, had encountered at least two cases in which women hired bomoh to harm their husbands. Low also cited a case where the woman gradually poisoned her husband with a “potion” she got from a bomoh.

He said abused men and women had equal access to justice.

“There are many NGOs that offer help for abused women, and not for abused men, as there are significantly fewer men who report domestic violence in Malaysia.”

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