updated 7 Sep 2013, 03:59
Login password
Tue, Jul 09, 2013
The New Paper
Email Print Decrease text size Increase text size
Sugar baby? It's just a job to me
by Audrey Kang

SINGAPORE - She gets at least $1,500 a month in allowance. He also buys her presents. And pays for their dinners.

He's not quite her dad. He's her sugar daddy.

Amelia (not her real name), who is in her early 20s, has gone into this arrangement with her eyes wide open.  She agrees to talk to us on the condition of a pseudonym because her real parents don't know about her double life.

Sugar baby is the term for a person who hooks up with a financially well-off person, on a more long-term basis, and is compensated for the time spent. While it is more commonly used to describe women, the term can also refer to males.

Recently, the term made local headlines when Mr Dexter Koh, the son of veteran Singaporean pianist Danny Koh, claimed to have played sugar daddy to as many as 15 women, mainly through Seekingarrangement. com. He currently appears in the UK's Big Brother reality show.

Amelia's sugar daddy is a local banker in his 60s.

The couple openly hold hands in public. And they are not the least bit worried about what others will think about them.

"When we go out, people always assume he's my father," she says wryly.

This reporter met her in a cafe last week.

She has long, dyed brown hair and meticulously-applied make-up on. The petite young woman shows us a photo on her mobile phone of the two of them and they look like a normal couple. He has his arm around her shoulder and she is captured planting a kiss on his cheek.

She is candid and matter-of-fact during the interview. The undergraduate admits she signed up with a sugar daddy site precisely because she wanted to be "taken care of".

"My parents were estranged and I needed money for university."

There was also her "lifestyle to maintain". She does not elaborate on this lifestyle, but she does sport a branded bag. She tried working at food and beverage outlets, but the pay was too poor, she says.

Amelia then did an Internet search and some of the results that came up were escorts sites.

"I was against the idea of prostituting myself, but after a while, I realised that having a sugar daddy isn't the same," Amelia says.

Although he compensates her, she insists that there is a certain level of emotional respect from both parties. "He loves me, he cares for me. And I care for him."

And yes, they are having sex. It started about a month after they met.  

"It's expected of me. Anyone who goes on these websites and says sex is not involved is lying."

They have fixed slots in the week for their dates, but if he calls, she shelves everything to be with him.

He hasn't been able to bring her on holidays as she still lives with her parents. Her parents remain unaware of her arrangements with the man.

They once questioned her about her income, but she brushed it off with excuses.

"I used to tell them I had a part-time job and that I used the income to play the stock market."

She admits to not knowing much about her sugar daddy, except that he is divorced with no children.

"It really doesn't matter to me what he does, as long as he pays me every month," she says, giggling.

"You wouldn't go and question your boss' life, would you?"

While Amelia was willing to speak to TNPS about her experience, she still worries about the backlash this article might bring.

"I'm more worried about people identifying me. It's not a glamorous job after all."

She's also worried that her sugar daddy might be unhappy. "I don't want him to think badly of me. After all, I am supposed to be enjoying his company."

And she does, she says. Although, to her, companionship is second to the money.

"I'm not going to pretend and say money is second. Money is the reason I got into this in the first place. If he stops paying me, or if I find someone who is willing to pay more and doesn't look bad, I'll leave him."

Although she knows that what she is doing is unconventional, she says it is ultimately a job.

"Of course, I won't be able to keep doing this. Maybe in a few years, when I've got a job, I'll stop," she says, uncertainty in her voice.

[email protected]

  >> Next


Get The New Paper for more stories.

Related stories:
Sugar daddies turned me off real men

readers' comments

Copyright © 2013 Singapore Press Holdings Ltd. Co. Regn. No. 198402868E. All rights reserved.