updated 18 Aug 2014, 11:41
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Sun, Jan 12, 2014
Philippine Daily Inquirer/Asia News Network
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Dear Emily: Confess to married friend and lose friendship?
by Emily A. Marcelo

Dear Emily,

I've been in love with a man from the time I met him when we were boarders in a house for two years. We became close friends, and I was the only one he invited to his wedding a few months after he left the boarding house.

We've kept in touch ever since. Though I work in a far place, he asked me to be one of the godfathers of his child. We see each other at least once a year when I go home and I get to join his family for dinner.

I've been carrying this feeling for him for a decade, and my problem is I don't know if I should confess my feelings for him. Other than the physical attraction, I feel he cares for me as well when we're together. I am afraid, though, that things may change badly for us once he knows my true feelings-though I already think he knows something.

Do I forever hold my peace, so as not to risk the friendship, and silently "suffer" and just enjoy the time with him? The second option of telling him seems so frightening.

-Friend in Need

He considers you a friend. He now has a family who considers you family. And though you suspect he knows of what you are, he obviously has shrugged it off as something that doesn't concern him and something he will not meddle with.

How well do you know yourself? How much do you think you know this friend? Enough to know his likes, biases, cup of tea, and other nuances that make up his complete personae that make you love him?

What exactly do you want to happen once you've made your confession to him? Are you prepared to suffer the consequences of freeing the anguish you've borne for a decade? Or would you rather continue enjoying his company and harbour this innermost secret till kingdom come?

It's been said that love can sometimes be magic… and that magic can sometimes just be an illusion. You are a discerning guy from the looks of it. Quiz: Which could you bear more and live with without destroying yourself?

Life is full of choices.

E-mail [email protected] or [email protected].

readers' comments
Aiyo if got spark, boarding house that time oredi fire lo. By the way, signed off as Friend In Need, not gay right?
Posted by mystrawberry on Tue, 14 Jan 2014 at 20:18 PM
Posted by BicCherry on Mon, 13 Jan 2014 at 17:52 PM

Tell me if I read this wrongly, or it's typed wrongly.

The writer is a male ('cos one of the godfathers of his child). So this is not about affair, but about homosexuality?
Posted by patfong00 on Mon, 13 Jan 2014 at 14:48 PM

Bhahaha. .I not patient, no need doctor..:D
Posted by davteo5 on Mon, 13 Jan 2014 at 13:54 PM
So U meant to say Dr Goon very happy with U when he saw U see him up ?? :D

Bobian ... I prefer to make him disappointed :D

Posted by Small Fly on Mon, 13 Jan 2014 at 13:49 PM

You see Dr Goon no up, he will be disappointed. .:D
Posted by davteo5 on Mon, 13 Jan 2014 at 13:45 PM

Must be able to handle and experience in man to man and girl to girl..relationship too...Then qualified. .:D
Posted by davteo5 on Mon, 13 Jan 2014 at 13:43 PM
I only see female counselors niah ... male one U keep ... ;)

Posted by Small Fly on Mon, 13 Jan 2014 at 13:41 PM

Don't worry. Refer you to my good friend Dr Goon...bao jiak..:D
Posted by davteo5 on Mon, 13 Jan 2014 at 13:38 PM
I patient ... :o :D :D

Posted by Small Fly on Mon, 13 Jan 2014 at 13:32 PM

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