When Stacey Anderson, a 40-year-old twicedivorced mother of four, was approached at a restaurant to star in a new reality TV show, her first reaction was: 'No way I'm doing this.'
The show's premise: An elimination dating series where 20 men - all under 30 - vie for the attention of a sexy, older and accomplished woman, the Cougar.
But casting agents hit pay-dirt with Anderson.
The successful Arizona-based realtor jokes: 'It wasn't difficult once they told me I had my pick of 20 guys in a beautiful mansion in Malibu, so I thought, why not?' She is the blonde attraction in The Cougar, an eight-episode dating series by the people behind similar reality shows such as The Bachelor and High School Reunion.
In the show, male suitors in their 20s go through creative and romantic challenges every episode, and those who do not make the cut are voted off by Anderson.
Hosted by actress Vivica A. Fox, the series is available on-demand on SingTel mio TV's Season Pass.
New hour-long episodes air every Friday. The first episode is available free of charge to all mio TV subscribers and the rest of the season can be bought for $21.40 (including GST).
It was not easy being on a show like this, Anderson confides to Life! in a telephone interview from America.
She says: 'People on the Internet have been very cruel, saying that I look 50 and I've got wrinkles. Well, of course I do, I'm 40.'
Other online criticisms accuse her of preying on younger men just because they look good.
Anderson says: 'I never placed so much emphasis on appearance when I did the show. I was looking for something deeper.'
She adds that she was hoping to meet someone with whom she can make an 'intellectual and emotional connection'.
Twice divorced - she married at 16 and then again at 23 - she explains that she joined the show to break the social stigma, double standards and stereotype of the 'cougar', a term associated with older successful women who 'prey' on younger men.
She adds: 'I don't actively go out and look for younger men. I've dated older guys as well, but it just seems like I connect easier with younger guys.'
Her first husband was older than her while her second one was the same age.
She says both marriages did not work out not because of age, but merely that 'we grew apart and fundamentally, we were just not right for each other'.
She has four children, three daughters and a son aged 11 to 23. She points out: 'My children are very involved with who I choose. And younger men have an ability to connect with my kids - they are young and hip.
'We seem to have more in common - the energy level is there, we're both driven in our careers.'
So far two episodes of The Cougar have aired in Singapore.
The toughest challenge in the show, according to Anderson, is in the later part of the season when she meets the parents of the remaining guys.
She says: 'My family and friends are supportive of whoever I date. They are open and they don't judge. But usually, a younger guy's parents seem to think I have an ulterior motive for dating their son and he'll have to step in to financially support my kids.'
But the tough cookie is unfazed by detractors. She says: 'I'm 40, that's real life. That's what I'm trying to convey on the show. And I don't have a tonne of plastic surgery or botox. I am who I am at 40.'
She reveals that she has indeed hooked up with the eventual winner from the series and they are engaged.
'It's funny because halfway through, I was thinking: What am I doing? I'm not going to make a connection with these guys!' she says.
And does she think she is a cougar?
She says, chuckling: 'Well I've read the definition of a cougar so I'll have to say I am. But what matters is if you can have a successful relationship, whether that person is 20 or 50.
'Age is just a number.'
This article was first published in The Straits Times.
