I WAS recently interviewed for an article on the topic of women who date or marry men younger than themselves.

No surprise, since I have been lumped into the “cougar” category ever since I married D, who is 11 years my junior, last year. We welcomed our baby boy, K, last year as well.

In the interview, I was questioned, naturally, about the nature of my marriage with D. But as the interview went on, I was hit by the realisation that, for a few close-minded people, my situation is not simply a rarity, but even a perversion.

The base assumption is that I wield the power in my relationship. After all, the older woman is often seen as the dominant figure who rakes in more income. Plus, she is assumed to be the wiser of the two, given her years.

She is often painted as a predator, swooping in on younglings and trapping them for her own, erm, uses.

Worse, the younger man is the child – with no mind of his own – who is taken care of, fed and maybe diapered in between his trips to the gym in a bid to remain suitably youthful and buff (to cater to the whims and fancies of his older lass, of course).

In this particular interview, I was posed questions such as: “What is particularly attractive about a younger man as compared to older men?” and “Being the older partner, do you think you’re better equipped to handle any potential marriage problems along the way?”

I didn’t have a problem with the questions. In a way, they were direct.  It’s the stuff people think about but don’t really manage to ask, out of courtesy.

But still, the question of whether I prefer my men younger is a laughable one.

Why, I must ask, does one assume that I am attracted to D because of his age, rather than because of his personality or the connection we have together? (Both of which are amazing, by the way.)

And the question of whether I might be better equipped to handle problems simply because of my age, is – to me – rather illogical.

I’ll admit that I have a leg up on D when it comes to the number of relationships I’ve had (purely because, let’s face it, I am older). But I’ve found that we are forging our relationship together.

Neither of us has been married before and we’re just two people in love, bonded by our child and our connection.

But this is where it rankles – people assume that simply because of the difference in ourages, we are not equals and that D puts in less than I do, hence putting me in a position of power. And to assume that I am turned on by that power is ludicrous.

Although I frequently joke about women being the smarter sex, I have always believed that for a relationship to work, both parties have to be on an equal standing with each other. To assume otherwise or to treat D as though he were less capable of handling marital disputes and problems would undermine my entire relationship.

Now, I know that, at 22 years of age, D is considerably young to be married and to already have a child. But he is adult enough to have made that choice. And he is no less of a husband or a father because of his age.

I may be the one bringing home the bigger cut of the bacon at the moment, but each of us gives 100 per cent to our marriage. It may be that D earns less than I do, but I have never seen him invest less in our relationship, whether emotionally or financially.

To me, D may be younger but he’s my life partner, my main man for now and always, and I am his woman.

And that’s the way I like it.

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