I am willing to bet you have met at least one girl who pays you her full attention one day, and gives you nothing but the cold shoulder at the next turn.

And a typical scenario with such a girl goes like this: You are out with her, having a good time. She is chatty and may even flirt with you during the date.

All seems well and you go home at the end of the date.

The next day, you spot her on your MSN chatboard. But things are drastically different when you initiate a chat with her. Her replies are short, and she takes forever to respond to your messages.

A typical example goes like this:

Guy: Hello.

Girl: Hi.

Guy: How was your day? (Minutes pass)

Girl: Quite alright.

Guy: Was it a fun or a boring day?

Girl: It's normal.

Guy: I see... hmmm, didn't go shopping after work? (More minutes tick by)

Guy: Hi, are you there?

Girl: Yep.


And the short, disinterested replies goes on.

Guys will wonder why the girl who was so friendly with them just a few days ago, now seems to be engaged in a sort of mind game, and most will feel affected by the girl's strange behaviour.

But for a male who has "figured women out", he knows that this behavious from the girl is normal.

Let's put it this way, even when a girl is romanticising about a relationship with you, she will still engage in such behaviour.

A woman employs these mind games to help her detect if you will feel affected by her, and thus, lose your dominance over her in a relationship, just like all the other guys whom she has encountered and failed the 'test'.

Or, will you stay unaffected and STABLE as a man with a sense of dominating attraction.

In short: She wants to know what sort of man you really are.

So whenever you're in a situation where you feel "affected" by a woman, don't let your attention on her waver.

Intead, be playful, not dejected.

To explain, I used to hang out on dates with a hairstylist, Janice (not her real name). Again it's one of those case of warm and friendly when we're together, but cold and unapproachable when we're chatting on the phone.

So this was another time when I was on the phone with Janice, and she is giving me her usual curt replies.

After speaking for a while, I spoke up with a smile: "Wait a minute, you're not Janice. Janice sounds a lot more fun and she's much more friendly. Whoever you are, nice talking to you but bring Janice back to the phone, thanks."

Immediately after that, Janice became self-conscious and apologized, saying she
wasn't being unfriendly, just that she had a bad experience with an unreasonable customer. She changed her tone and resumed her excited and bubbly self.

Another nice outcome was that she stopped giving me curt, cold replies ever again.

To elaborate, a woman does not engage in such "mind games" because she likes to be cruel. Instead, it's her 'mate choosing' device kicking in.

Women want their men to possess an unshaken core, who won't easily get affected by the unfriendly messages she sends out. Otherwise, he won't be too solid a character, and probably not much of a mate as well.

And if he remains unaffected, the woman's attraction for him increases.

Here's another scenario - a friend of mine who is not cowed by a girl's passiveness, but is awesome at handling such situations on Internet chat sessions.

Whenever he gets the "short cold answers" from the girl, he will type: "You're making me sleepy with your short answers. Zzz. Talk to you again when I wake up. :)"

Very often, she will snap out of her coldness, regain enthusiasm and stop being so passive.

When a woman blows hot and cold, guys who don't know what to do will feel stressed and start to stick to the girl out of desperation. This causes her to engage the guy in more, not less, of these mind games, since she knows that her ploy is working.

On the other hand, men who understand the female psyche in this game of attraction will hold on to their inner male core by being unaffected, and deal with her non-chalance lightheartedly. He may even walk away from her and spend his time on something else, while she snaps out of it.

Ironically, women sense this and will stop their mind games because they don't want to chase a potentially good catch away.