WEDDING vows, irrespective of religion, race or custom, are generally similar in nature: Through thick and thin, for better or worse, till death do us part.
Most couples tie the knot out of love and passion, whereas some get married out of obligation or even out of compulsion. I was one of the lucky ones. I married a man I truly admired.
Although marriage is believed to be made in heaven, couples, whether rich or poor, are bound to have rows and disagreements along their matrimonial journey.
Many may wonder why their spouses’ annoying habits, which they could readily accept before marriage, suddenly become intolerable. Telephone conversations that could last from dusk to dawn before marriage cannot even last for two minutes without a tiff after marriage.
We’ve heard of how couples who are so madly in love and decide to get married end up getting divorced after just three months. Or of Romeos who suddenly loath their Juliets so much that they treat them as punching bags after they become man and wife.
How do you define love and marriage? Could it be that love is blind and marriage is the eye-opener? Or is love just a game and marriage a gamble that many lose because they were hoping to mould each other into someone they wanted but failed to do so?
Lust, visual pleasure and material comforts alone cannot hold a marriage together for long.
It saddens me to see the tremendous increase in divorce and domestic violence cases in recent years. The frequent man-made and natural disasters that happen around us should open our eyes. We should be grateful for what we have. Love, patience and tolerance is the main key to a blissful marriage.
The path my husband and I shared after our marriage was not easy and smooth, especially with the addition of our two children and some financial setbacks. There was laughter and tears, sunshine and stormy days.
Once, my husband was so stubborn and obsessed about his troublesome car that after months of endless arguments, I wanted to pack my bags and leave.
When marital problems arise, many people tend to ponder all the negative aspects, thus adding fuel to their anger. I too could not think of the happy moments we had shared – but could I end our relationship because of a car?
Of course I could. There were a thousand and one other excuses I could have used to leave him. But when our marriage was in trouble, I sat down and thought about things for days.
Wedding vows were not made to impress but to be fulfilled, unconditionally. I had sworn to be with my husband through thick and thin, yet, why couldn’t I get through this difficult situation with him? After all, he had accepted my flaws and shortcomings. So I abandoned the idea of leaving.
Ego and pride led me to believe how great and rational I had been as a wife, until two unfortunate events made me realise I was indeed lucky to have him as my husband.
I was wrongly implicated in a mistake made by someone else and ended up in serious trouble. The impact was so great that it destroyed my reputation and my future was at stake. My whole world collapsed.
For months, I endured humiliation and blame for something I had not done. I had no one to turn to. Relatives and friends could only watch sympathetically while my foes were laughing behind my back.
To add insult to injury, I discovered a loved one had done something that hurt me deeply. The betrayal and deception made me wallow in defeat and depression. The double blows were too much for me to bear; I lost my will to live.
During that period when I truly believed that even God had turned His back on me, my husband was there. Every night he would coo when I cried, hug me till I fell asleep and he stood by me until the clouds cleared.
The incident proved that true love could prevail amidst any adversity. He was my strength, my pillar.
I have to thank my husband for being there for me when I needed him the most.
We celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary this year. God willing, we will have many more years to share, till death do us part.
To my dear husband Ganesan Murugesu, there is no better way to thank you than to tell the world what you have done for me. Thank you for your love and tolerance, for accepting me, for lifting me when I fell, for being there whenever I needed you.
I cannot promise there will not be any squabbles in the future, but I can assure you that I will always love you, from the bottom of my heart.
Happy Silver Jubilee, my love!
