"Mrs M" didn't expect to have an affair when she was temporarily transferred to another office. But the married office worker in her late 30s fell in love with her supervisor, who is in his 40s and also married. She wanted a long-term relationship, without divorcing her husband, while her lover insisted on ending the affair.

Ms M called marriage counselor Wang Ling, who helped her understand the risks of divorce and its impact on her children. Wang proposed she regard the relationship as a sweet memory and keep her family, but said it was her choice.

China has seen a rise in divorces and extramarital affairs. Beijing Haidian District Court registered more than 2,700 divorce cases, from January to October. Three fifths of these couples have a university education, a decent job and income. More than half of them are divorcing because of marital infidelity, and about 70 percent of the guilty parties are men.

Chongqing municipality records show that 1,000 divorces in the third quarter of this year - nearly 43 percent of the total registered cases - were the result of affairs. Local civil affairs officials said it is a high ratio, since there are usually just a few hundred cases.

Discussion about affairs has been fueled by the hit TV series Dwelling Narrowness (Wo Ju) that revolves around the Guo sisters striving for a better life in a metropolis, resembling Shanghai. Elder sister Haiping takes three part-time jobs to raise the down payment for an apartment. Haizao, the younger one, steps in to help by borrowing money from Song Siming, a married official in the city mayor's office. In return, she becomes his mistress and falls in love with him.

Netizens have mixed opinions on women having a liaison with a powerful, senior man. On xinhuanet.com's forum, for instance, a netizen named "Shiwenwen" expresses sympathy for Haizao sacrificing her own happiness for her sister's house dream. Other comments accuse women of being gold diggers.

Pan Xulin, from Beijing, says the drama also puts the spotlight on marital crises among middle-aged couples.

Pan has a friend who is having an extramarital affair with a married woman. This friend speculates his wife knows of his betrayal and is also having an affair. Neither of them are considering a divorce and are content with the situation.

"If it happened 10 years ago, they would have been subject to severe moral criticism. But today, it's hard to tell whether their affair is right or wrong. Many people seem to take such things for granted," he says.

Pan adds the older generation believes in faithfulness, while youths are more likely to cheat on each other.

Wang Ling has been working at Beijing Maple Women's Psychological Counseling Center for 10 years. She says the center is receiving more calls about extramarital affairs than a decade ago.

"People today do not recognize marital transgressions as a major moral violation. They show more tolerance of affairs because social values are more diversified. People are bolder about expressing their love and desire," she says.

She attributed the phenomenon of more "xiao san" ("small third person") relationships, or marital affairs, to the increased need for instant self-satisfaction, caused by the market-driven economy.

"As for people in their 40s and 50s, they are easily tempted by an exciting extramarital relationship to compensate for their empty married life, and to prove they are still attractive," she says.

But this attitude can cause problems, sociologists and legal experts say.

Liu Jinyang, a psychological counselor from Henan provincial women's association, says extramarital affairs can lead to domestic violence, particularly mental abuse, and have a deleterious effect on children. They may have distorted family values and encounter the same marital problems as their parents'.

She says it is important for Chinese youths to understand the truth about marriage and family, rather than learn about it from TV shows and online.

"Married couples should realize that it's natural to have marital problems. They need to seek psychological support first, rather than have an extramarital affair," she says. "Only after that, can they upgrade their marriage and love to a new level."