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Sun, Jan 17, 2010
Urban, The Straits Times
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My wife has no clue
by Rohaizatul Azhar


I was introduced to the other woman by a male friend about six months ago during lunch. We work in the same industry. She was 29.

We started out meeting for casual lunches until about three months ago, when things turned serious.

We started going out for dinner dates and, before I realised it, I was falling for her.

I think we were both attracted to one another from the start but were too shy to admit it then. Besides, she knows I am married.

I cannot explain how things progressed so far but spending time with her made me forget the problems I’ve been having with my wife.

We’ve been married for five years and have no children.

Her job as an engineer keeps her very busy and, for most of our marriage, really stressed out.

She works late most of the time and when she gets home, she’s often in a bad mood.

But that changes when I present her with luxury goods she desires, such as shoes and bags from designer labels.

She will be so happy that she won’t pay attention to me at all.

There are times when I feel she loves her branded bags and shoes more than she does me.

Being with the other woman made me feel young and in love again. We would take short trips together.

She gave me the attention that I craved and she did not care for material goods.

I’m not trying to justify my actions. In fact, both the woman and I believe that cheating on someone is wrong.

However, I do not think anyone should be vilified for falling in love and wanting to be loved.

If my wife cheated on me, of course I would be angry. But I would ask myself if I had a part to play in her cheating. Maybe I have not done enough in the marriage.

What is ironic is that I have had friends who were cheating on their spouses and I had talked them out of the affair.

I feel terrible for cheating on my wife. I never stopped loving her but having the other woman in my life made being in this marriage bearable.

Many times, she wanted to break things off. But the more times she tried to do so, the harder it became to let go.

However, on Dec 31 last year, I decided to end the affair as I felt that it was the best thing to do for her.

She is still young and single and I don’t want to ruin her future.

If word gets out, it might jeopardise her career. That was something I did not want to happen to her.

It was very hard to say goodbye and even though my wife has no clue about the affair, I decided that it was the best thing to do for the other woman.

I actually don’t care much for my marriage.

But divorce is the last thing on my mind as I know for a fact that my parents would try to get us back together and prevent the divorce. Things will start to get messy.

Sometimes, I wish my wife will catch me red-handed and realise what she’s doing to me.

I’m still trying to fight the urge to call the other woman.

I really cannot promise that I will not stray in future. It’s not something I think about.

I just know that as of this moment, I am not cheating on my wife.

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This article was first published in Urban, The Straits Times.

readers' comments

I'm an engineer with a Naval background from the times when homosexuals were quickly identified and helicoptered off never to go to sea again. Being at sea is like having a wife who, shall I say, doesn't offer to make love that often... In some peoples' cases maybe only when there's a total eclipse or all planets are in alignment.

Men's sperm build-up is directly proportional to testosterone build-up. Singapore has low sex-crime because of what Kooldog coolly states. When men's "high-level alarms" go off, they have an outlet. Bladdy West will have the police after you if you engage the services of a prostitute, and look at the high sex-crime rate. Excellent response Kooldog.
Posted by Trouser Press on Wed, 24 Mar 2010 at 07:40 AM
^ Evelyn_BQ, i agree with you!
Posted by ilovetemaki on Tue, 23 Mar 2010 at 20:19 PM
It is wrong to commit adultery. You have commited this wrong once. Be strong. Do NOT be tempted. Do NOT do it again. Please work very hard to make your marriage work. Talk to your wife about your unhappiness. DO take a real hard look at yourself. Is it possible you may have contributed to the situation? What can YOU do to improve the situation? Take a trip together, so that both can be in a relaxed atmosphere. Take your wife out for short trips, outings and dinners. ONLY with sincere desire & effort can both your wife & you rekindled the love you had for each other. To fall into temptation is easy. It takes a REAL MAN to resist this destructive temptation.
Posted by Dragonf1y on Thu, 21 Jan 2010 at 09:55 AM
This guy is definitely good in writing Love Stories.
Posted by mountaingoat on Wed, 20 Jan 2010 at 14:54 PM
The excuses that people can think off to justify their lust...

If you or your partner is never at home because of work or otherwise and you really need to have an orgasm, then why don't you just go for a quicky in Geylang. This should be true for both males and females. I can accept this, because hormones can make you go crazy, at least that is what science tells us. If you are not prepared to be committed to a marriage, why get married in the first place. If you found out that you made a mistake in marrying, then get a divorce and free the other person to go and pursue another realtionship. By thinking of cheap excuses to justfy a mistress can only make a person worst...
Posted by kooldog59 on Wed, 20 Jan 2010 at 10:54 AM
I may not agree with you, but i understand.
Posted by Criminalz on Wed, 20 Jan 2010 at 10:37 AM
***, this guy after shitting around tried to talk on moral high grounds.
Posted by wat2do on Wed, 20 Jan 2010 at 10:17 AM
Being in an unhappy marriage is not an excuse for cheating on your spouse. If you can take the time and effort to bring your "mistress" out on dinner dates, why not spend that same time and effort to make the marriage work? Saying your wife does not give you the attention you deserve is a lousy excuse, maybe you should ask yourself if you have given her the attention she deserves as well.
Posted by Evelyn_BQ on Wed, 20 Jan 2010 at 09:29 AM

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