updated 24 Dec 2010, 21:36
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Tue, Feb 02, 2010
The Star/Asia News Network
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Why do women still stay on with their cheating husbands?

Jaques says some women are brought up to think that they’re at fault if their husbands stray. “We live in a world where the victim is often judged much faster than the perpetrator. The spouse who has cheated almost always blames his partner for being inadequate in some way.

Wives who choose to stay on often think that opting out is a sin. Others may be forced to stay because of the children, or financial constraints. Others might lack the support to.

Yen adds that some women are used to a certain lifestyle and would rather put up with their spouse’s infidelity than give up the trappings of a comfortable home. Or, some could come from families and societies which accept men who have more than one partner.

But there are the wives who fight hard to save the marriage; they go on the offensive and demand that he end the affair. Often, the ultimatum is, drop the hussy or lose the kids.

“The marriage can be saved if the spouse can forgive and start afresh,” Yen says. But both parties must be committed to making it work.

There are also those who start out by fighting for what’s theirs, then gradually “accept” their husband’s indiscretions. Some eventually leave the marriage.

Jaques says women walk away because their parents had walked away too, or because they have a good support system. Some are just tired of trying while the other party seems to be doing nothing about the betrayal.

There is no right or wrong. Sometimes it takes the stronger woman to leave a broken marriage. At, other times it is the one who stays who gives up the most – the chance to find love and start over again.

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