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updated 24 Jun 2013, 13:54
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Wed, 19 Jun 2013
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Affairs made their marriages stronger
by Kerri Heng

One was acquitted and the other convicted in two high-profile sex-for-contracts trials.

But former Central Narcotics Board director Ng Boon Gay and former Singapore Civil Defence Force chief Peter Lim share one thing in common - they cheated on their wives.

Mr Ng's wife was by his side throughout his trial while Mr Lim's wife was not, but both have said they stand by their men.

Both also said that their husbands' indiscretions, revealed so publicly, have made their marriages stronger.

But can marriages that have been rocked by extramarital affairs survive?

Yes, says Mr John Vasavan, 53, a relationship counsellor for almost 30 years, and some have grown even stronger.

Mr Vasavan, who owns a counselling practice and volunteers with the Singapore Planned Parenthood Association, said that about 100 couples have sought his help.

Of the 100, about 75 were prepared to work things out after counselling.

Citing one case, he said the wife kept smelling perfume on her husband's shirts and a friend had seen the husband holding hands with another woman.

When the woman confronted her husband, he admitted to having an affair with a married woman for the past six months.

Read the full story here.

Related stories:
Women who stand by their cheating husbands
What next for the women?

 

Click on the thumbnails for 4 reasons why couples stay together after an affair, and more about the women in the recent corruption trials.

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WHY COUPLES REMAIN TOGETHER AFTER INFIDELITY: 1. They do not want to cause trauma to their loved ones, especially their children.
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readers' comments


These counsellors ought to be fired!
Posted by autoauto on Sat, 22 Jun 2013 at 12:29 PM
well said.... so what it means is..... Guys.... let have fun outside... if we gana caught... this will make our relationship stronger...........
Posted by tommyshino on Fri, 21 Jun 2013 at 08:24 AM
i don't think they put it correctly, is misleading to say affair make marriage stronger, is like telliing peoples drink more wine,you hv better heart...i think will die faster because of alcoholism
Posted by jameslee58 on Thu, 20 Jun 2013 at 17:40 PM
This is a very dangerous theory to tag these scandals to. It should never be used as an example to promote adultery and love affairs.

Behind these 2 cases, there may be thousands who have broken from adulterous relationships and third parties. Unless a person is wreckless or doesn't value family, don't ever intentionally enter an extramarital affair just to prove this point.
Posted by Gerigeriyeo on Thu, 20 Jun 2013 at 17:17 PM
No wonder SOT is all out for married women ... maybe those married women who are victims of "affairs made their marriages stronger" need to find someone to "balance" off their hubby's affair-counts ... :D :D
Posted by Small Fly on Thu, 20 Jun 2013 at 14:00 PM
Crap. So is the moral of story to have an affair in order to strengthen your marriage?
Posted by ordinarycitizen on Thu, 20 Jun 2013 at 13:44 PM

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