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Fri, 01 Nov 2013
The New Paper
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Unfaithful acts help couples stay married: Cheating website founder
by Judith Tan, Nur Shereen Ibrahim and Jasmine Lim

Singapore - You would expect a man who has only good things to say about infidelity to be bad at his own marriage.

But Mr Noel Biderman, founder of a website that matches cheating spouses, said he does not cheat on his wife.

He said that he and wife Amanda, who have two children, are faithful to each other and that he would be upset if his wife cheated on him.

"If my wife were engaging in such a service, then clearly our relationship would be in trouble," Mr Noel Biderman told Online Personals Watch, an Internet news magazine programme.

He explained that while being monogamous works for him, it may not be the way for others.

His wife feels the same way.

"I would be devastated if (Noel cheated) on me," Amanda said.

"But I would not blame a website... It is servicing a need out there. And unfortunately, it exists. It's sad," she told the New York Daily News., which he started 11 years ago, has announced plans to set up a website in Singapore. MyPaper first broke the news last week.

It sparked a public outcry, with Singaporeans and politicians insisting that its maxim "Life is short. Have an affair" is not what we want.

Minister for Social and Family Development Chan Chun Sing said in a Facebook post that he is against any company or website that harms marriage.

"Promoting infidelity undermines trust and commitment between a husband and wife, which are core to marriage," he said in response to media reports of the planned local launch.

"Our marriage vows make it clear that marriage is a lifelong commitment between a man and a woman. This includes staying faithful to one another," Mr Chan said.

But Mr Biderman, who is also Ashley-'s CEO, does not agree.

He told The New Paper: "It's naive to believe that cheating is not happening now in Singapore. It is. So, are you going to remove these people from the community?"

He was speaking en route to a television interview in Sweden.

Mr Biderman, 42, said: "I don't know what the minister's mandate is like, but I assure you, he and so many people in similar roles don't truly understand monogamy from the social science perspective.

"We humans believe that we are monogamous, but we are not. It is these unfaithful acts that have helped us stay married. After all, it (cheating) is a needed relief. In a marriage, certain priorities take precedence over others such as children, finances and shelter over sexual needs. If you are cheating, it helps you stay in the marriage."

Read the full story here.

Related stories:
Weeding out the wedded
5 things about Noel Biderman
Dealing with infidelity

Click on the thumbnails for more on how to catch a cheating spouse.

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Mr Noel Biderman (inset), founder of a website that matches cheating spouses, said he does not cheat on his wife. He explained that while being monogamous works for him, it may not be the way for others.
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readers' comments

I suggest they ban AM and let Sph create a clone site similar! Confirm profitable. GDP growth at all costs.
Posted by Seekeroftruth on Mon, 4 Nov 2013 at 09:38 AM
I believe angmohs' mentality towards marriage quite different from most Asians'.
Marriage to them stemmed from "love". When they "in love", they get married - mainly for women's sake. When they "out-of-love", they separate.
To them, sex & "love-making" different. They make love to their love partners. Problem is they like claim have many "love partners" !
They have sex with those got no deep feeling - ie for fun.
So having affairs is like indulging 1 of their hobbies - like playing cards with friends when free. So it not uncommon for people like Giggs fock his sis-in-law or even between father-daughter, bros & sis, with animals, etc, etc. :D
Asians view marriage as commitment. Good or bad, we try to stay together and work it out to raise family. We try not fock around for fun. But unfortunately, this is changing .....
Posted by Kontikki on Mon, 4 Nov 2013 at 09:08 AM

Hey, isn't this the same theory as "paying them millions more so that they don't get corrupted"?

See, if they have extra-marital affair, then they will stay married, else if it ends in a divorce, then it'll no longer be called "Extra-marital" affair.

No wonder our great leaders are so smart ... I bet they will bring this website into singapore, since it's in line with their theory.
Posted by patfong00 on Mon, 4 Nov 2013 at 08:47 AM
;) the owner of this website can join PAP! ;)

;) say one thing but do something else! ;)
Posted by muppet on Mon, 4 Nov 2013 at 07:49 AM
Posted by baoxingtian on Fri, 1 Nov 2013 at 21:47 PM
If you have fun, no need to boast about it!
Most important is be sure no extra gift for your opposite sex partner or spouse.
If you have the means, fun comes to you. You almost cannot reject!
If you have no means does not mean you are bad. Just that you are safer than those who active!
Posted by Superidiot on Fri, 1 Nov 2013 at 21:39 PM

In India, women and children are raped then killed. :eek:
Posted by renyeo on Fri, 1 Nov 2013 at 20:26 PM
Yes, Ang Mo even screwed their own brother's wife, Giggs of MU...hahahahha. Ang mo loves to screw others wives.
Posted by working_class on Fri, 1 Nov 2013 at 20:02 PM

There are basically 3 types of "love"...Eros, Filial and Agape... I think that if base it on the theory that marriage is about Filial and sex is about Eros, then you may be able to justify his views but only if you set aside Agape... This is why it is dangerous to that religious text out of context....
Posted by kooldog59 on Fri, 1 Nov 2013 at 18:40 PM
Arrmmm.... just wondering .... so its acceptable to have forumer men and women who chooses to promote going oversea to bang bang those underage girls paying SGD$ and go happy with prostitution and gay instead ??? :p :D :D

Posted by Small Fly on Fri, 1 Nov 2013 at 15:22 PM


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