I WILL come right out and say it - I am married to a "dirty old man".

When I married him, he was a decent enough person and seemed like he would be a responsible husband and father. That was 33 years ago.

Until a year ago, I still had hopes that we would grow old together, and understand, support and care for each other. I trusted him totally especially as we are now in our late 50s and he no longer had any interest in any kind of physical intimacy for some time now.

I just don't know when he morphed into a dirty old man. One day, he left his handphone at home and I found several sexually explicit messages from some woman. He had been calling her and some other women very frequently.

I had never touched his handphone before and he knew I trusted him and would never check on him. Also, he had been going out nearly every night and spending the occasional weekend away "for work".

One day, a package of pills arrived for him. He claimed they were health supplements, but after checking, I found out they were sex stimulants.

Recently he has been upgrading his wardrobe, buying new clothes and shoes. Since I am retired with a pension and my children are working, he spends his entire salary on himself.

I was furious, frustrated and depressed and until today, I cannot bring myself to be in the same room as him or to even hear his voice. I can never forgive him or love him anymore.

If he wants to spend all his time and money on sex stimulants and young women instead of growing old gracefully with me, that is his choice. There is still the rest of my life to live and I want to spend it with a light heart and a happy smile. And no stupid, dirty old man is going to ruin that.

Finally, to all the silent, suffering wives out there - you are not alone. Cut all emotional ties with that dirty old man of yours. Tell yourself that he is not worth suffering for. Don't shed one more tear for him. You can be happy again.

Phoenix