Dear Thelma

My husband has just come home after working overseas for a year. Barely 24 hours after his return, his best friend confronted him, claiming that my husband had been messing around with his wife before he left.

I couldn't believe my ears. My husband denied it at first. I confronted his friend's wife, and she admitted it. Thinking about it, there were signs back then. Finally, my husband admitted that he had been unfaithful.

I'm trying to figure out what to do. He says that being away has made him realise that he loves me only. He does not want to lose me - that was all he could think about while abroad.

He also said he tried to break off with her, but every time, she threatened to tell his friend and me. He thought it was over when they had a baby.

My husband has lost his best friend. The woman is acting like she's done nothing wrong. She basically told her husband it happened, then asked him to leave.

Her husband doesn't want to leave because of the baby, but he doesn't see anything changing. She gets mad whenever he questions her, which is a complete contrast from my husband, who has been totally honest and has apologised like crazy for how much he has hurt me.

But how do I get over the pain my husband has caused? He's gone overseas again so I'm trying to sort out my own head right now. Then I'll see if he is for real when he gets back. He says he felt like he wasn't loved or wanted and she gave him that.

This is killing me. I am afraid she will try to get at my husband again.

Love/Hate

If you love your man, you must forgive and try to forget. Sure, the betrayal hurts and the wounds will take a long time to heal. But there is another woman waiting to claim him so be warned.

The friend's wife seems to be a case of fatal attraction. If she had no qualms telling her husband the truth, and was only too happy to confess, what else couldn't or wouldn't she do to grab your guy? This woman is determined and eager to wreck your marriage and is hell-bent on getting rid of her husband. He must love her a lot to want to stay, even for the baby. But her heart is like stone towards him while she is hot and wild for your man.

If you have the opportunity, take time out to go overseas with your husband. Send the message that you will fight for your guy, that she has no hope of ever getting him. She needs to know that her words cannot hurt or taunt you.

Your marriage is stronger than before, the love more intense and steadfast. Flaunt your husband's love for you in her face so that she will not dare cross the line again.