updated 16 Jun 2012, 04:24
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Sat, Jun 16, 2012
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Should I express my feelings for him?

I AM 37, attractive and single, and have been attracted to my colleague for the longest time. We work in the same office but I don't see him all the time as he is always running around.

He is my superior and I became attracted to him after I noticed him looking at me all the time. He is also single and quite good-looking. All these years, I've been pursuing my career and never really thought of settling down. However, I feel he fits the characteristics I'm looking for in a life partner.

For one-and-a-half years, I never really made my feelings known to him for fear of rejection and office politics. Recently he resigned. I sent him a text message wishing him all the best but he never replied.

All this while, I could feel the sexual tension whenever we were in the same room. So I felt a void in me when he left. This has made me feel rejected and I'm not sure when I'll be able to meet my life partner.

I've never felt this way for another person before. To top it all, I don't really know him. We just know each other superficially.

What's up with me? Am I so desperate for love that any guy who shows interest will do? Should I express my feelings for him, not knowing how he will respond? Should I go for it or let it go?

Dejected in love

GO for it! As you have nothing to lose, give him a call and invite him for dinner instead of leaving an indifferent message like everyone else. Why are you watching from the sidelines when you are still interested in this sexy, attractive fellow?

He must be either painfully shy, insecure or just a cowardly fool who doesn't know how to treat a woman. Looking at you in the office but not taking any action was not being brave.

If he is single and available, perhaps he is waiting for a woman to take the lead as he does not have the confidence or self-esteem to woo and romance.

Never be afraid to charge in if you like a fellow. Until he is married, you have every chance to get him hot and excited about you. Stop putting up the barriers before you have tried to get the man. Playing shy and coy could leave you on the shelf for a long time.

But don't feel bashful and washed up if he reacts with cool indifference. Just get on with living and flash your smiles when you meet the next guy you like.


readers' comments
I am speaking from a man's point of view. U seem have been trapped with a certain complex or fear to lose face, but also sexually charged. I recommend u separate the 2, u can seek your sexual release somewhere first, so that u can deal with the man u fancied with ease. This step is critical. This man is no sexual object, u r at risk: once u got him in sex, he can be at ur back, he may not give up for more sex, but u may find him not the right character, tho he has been ur superior. Superior is just a man masked with veil, not real person as husband.

How to get to know him more? First, remember, not sexually charged when u are with him, u take a big risk to jump into the situation. Once he is not "needed" .....
Posted by last_laugh on Sat, 27 Aug 2011 at 10:48 AM

Love is a 2 way traffic, a one sided love affair will always end in tears. But the truth is you don't know until you try, so somoene must make the frist move be it the guy or the gal. In today's society, there is no shame for a woman to go after the man in her dreams. If the truth is, he only sees you as sis or a friend, then you will have to accept the heartache and pain, and cry yourself to sleep a feeling disgusted with yourself. But the truth is, cry but there no need to feel bad about yourself and infact you should be proud of yourself that you had the courage to make the first move. This goes the same for a guy as well. Just remember that when you wake up tomorrow, it is a new day with .....
Posted by kooldog59 on Sat, 27 Aug 2011 at 02:33 AM
By all means take the first move if you are keen to be closer friends with him ..BUT ONLY if he is not married or engaged to be married.

Also, always keep options opened. Don't rush into the relationship and expect him to be always compliant and generous.
Posted by caeuser123 on Sat, 27 Aug 2011 at 01:42 AM
first , whether man or woman, is always a mistake not to take every possible dates as a possibility, you can't just eliminate someone each time, be it on first date ( except those clear cut case )

so come back to the point if a woman should make a move first, as a man, my answer is definitely a yes, i personally like woman to make that initiative, she need not be direct with me, she can find an excuse, or pretext to ask me out, i will be more than happy to see her , my ex will asked me out for help because she has problem with her handphone or laptop, or she need my help for tuition, my advice is , a woman cannot be too upfront that she want to make it a point - this is a serious business, she should .....
Posted by jameslee58 on Fri, 26 Aug 2011 at 23:48 PM

Right, show how holy you are, talking about God when you do not even respect Him, and quote the bible any O how.
Posted by smickno on Fri, 26 Aug 2011 at 17:53 PM
Sure, why not? This is the modern society and it is not a sin to love somebody.
You just have to make sure the man doesn't take you for granted.
Because some men got 'ego problems', instead of reciprocating the love, he goes announce it to the whole world and embarrass the other party. (Some girls behave likewise).

Should this happened, just dump him straightaway, because it is a clear sign he is not worthy of you.

Life is as simple as that.
Posted by Dracula on Fri, 26 Aug 2011 at 17:46 PM

can give better advice or not?
Posted by A_Commoner on Fri, 26 Aug 2011 at 17:02 PM
Aiyah - better get a 'MC' (Med Cert) to certify that he's free of all STDs and AIDs!!! Better be KS - KiaSu and KiaSi !!!
Posted by JUSTSPOREAN on Fri, 26 Aug 2011 at 17:00 PM

huh? but i thought it is girl power now? 男女平等?

but i also agree, as man, we should take the initiative. men usually will take no prisoners.....
Posted by A_Commoner on Fri, 26 Aug 2011 at 16:59 PM
Forget, girl. If he's heterosexual, he would have mustered enough balls to talk and get to know you if he felt as sexually charged in the room like you. Ha, sorry, it's your girlie, under-exposed imagination stuck at teeny-romance erasphere.

By this age, either he's a gay in closet, just find you eye-candy or a player that's smart enough not to touch work place lah! You should know if he has a gf thru' the grapevines..

Of course you can pursue to all your hearts and down there contend now that it's not a career bomb as colleague lor.. Just remember to make sure condom is at bay to rescue you in anycase.
Posted by RedDotter1 on Fri, 26 Aug 2011 at 16:54 PM


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