updated 6 Oct 2012, 09:50
user id password
Wed, Sep 05, 2012
Email Print Decrease text size Increase text size
5 worst relationship mistakes

What not to do in a relationship

Women are from Venus and men are from Mars so it's no surprise that we sometimes run into a few difficulties when trying to co-exist on Earth. There are some key behavioural traits you should avoid flaunting if you want to avoid relationship meltdown. Here are five of the most common relationship faux pas:

Relationship mistake 1: Expecting a fairytale

A common pitfall is to treat your relationship as though it exists in a fairytale and then fly off the handle at the slightest blip when you realise you're back in reality. We grew up believing that relationships were all about the perfect man, the perfect woman and a love story punctuated by a choir of singing mice - thanks for that, Cinderella - but it's important to make the transition between fiction and reality if your relationship is to run smoothly. Expecting sparkling carriages and perfect women in our relationships sounds great but makes for a pretty disappointing shock when we find ourselves dealing with arguments and our other half's morning breath. Keep your fictional mindset at bay when it comes to relationships and you will avoid one serious love life blunder.

Relationship mistake 2: Cheating

When it comes to relationship mistakes, cheating is a serious deal breaker. Once the dirty deed has been done the relationship has been tainted and you're either a liar or a cheat, depending on whether you confess or not. If your partner cheats and you're the victim, it's going to lead to feelings of resentment, upset and anger, which isn't a great foundation for a long and happy relationship. Cheating isn't pleasant for either party and it certainly isn't an ingredient in the recipe for a loving relationship. If you're thinking about doing the dirty on your significant other, you probably shouldn't be together in the first place.

Relationship mistake 3: Not having a life of your own

Your relationship should enhance your life, not rule it, and feeling that you are unable to enjoy your time away from your other half suggests that your relationship is ruling your life. Other common indicators of this are that your plans are always dictated by what your partner is doing, you're not seeing your friends and family as much as you used to and your future goals have taken a back seat. As much as you may love spending time together, too much of it can leave you both feeling fed up and eventually lead to feelings of resentment. While it's important to make special time for your relationship, you also need to make sure you have time apart to miss each other and live your own lives - this makes it even more special when you see each other again and share the experiences you had when you were apart.

Relationship mistake 4: Snooping

Thinking of snooping through your partner's texts or having a sneaky peek at their Facebook messages? Hold your horses, because this is a whopping relationship mistake. Anyone who looks through their partner's private messages or emails risks making their partner feel smothered and as though they can't be trusted. This behaviour rarely ends well either; snoopers have a habit of reading between the lines (or the texts, in this case) and blowing things out of proportion. A text from your partner to their boss - who happens to be a member of the opposite sex - that reads "okay , see you later" doesn't mean "can't wait to meet you for that hot date tonight" as it would through a snooper's eyes. If you feel like you need to pry into your partner's business, your relationship is headed for the rocks. If your partner is snooping on you, it may be time to have a word with them.

Relationship mistake 5: Attempting to change someone

When you first met your partner, you were attracted to their laid back personality and ability to help you relax when you're usually running around like a headless chicken. Now, you can't get them up off the sofa to clean up their mess and you're starting to wish your other half wasn't so lazy. It's common to start resenting the things that first attracted you to your partner as you advance into the relationship, but you either have to learn to live with it or part ways. If not, you end up trying to change that person by nagging at them all the time, which eventually leads to resentment and can grind you both down. While it may be worth having a word with your partner about what's annoying you, you can't make them change unless they really want to.

More articles from

5 signs your relationship is over

Top 10 relationship fat traps

Follow realbuzz on Facebook

readers' comments

Copyright © 2012 Singapore Press Holdings Ltd. Co. Regn. No. 198402868E. All rights reserved.