updated 3 Nov 2012, 10:02
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Tue, Oct 30, 2012
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I don't want wrong boy to call me daddy for life
by Benson Ang

Pregnant after dating for five months,she decided to get married.

But when her baby was born, she agonised over the question of who was his real father.

Only months before she first met her husband, she was in a relationship with an ex-lover.

And he has the same blood type as her baby boy.

For the Ngs (as they want to be known), who married in June last year, that uncertainty was so agonising that they decided to take a paternity test last month.

Their son turned one this month.

Mrs Ng, 30, who is self-employed, tells The New Paper on Sunday in a phone interview: “I kept debating with myself if I should tell him.

“If I said it, would he be angry?

“If I didn’t, what would happen if my baby turned out not to be his?

“Marriages don’t always last nowadays. If my marriage didn’t work out, what would happen to my baby?

“In the end, I decided I had to tell him because I wanted to be fair to him and to my child.”

Mrs Ng finally came clean about two months ago.

In a separate phone interview, Mr Ng, 32, admits that he was traumatised by his wife’s confession.

The manager in a construction company recounts: “I couldn’t sleep for a week.

“I didn’t want to believe this lovable child is not my flesh and blood.”

He became conflicted. “There were days when I really loved him, because he looked about 70 per cent like me.

“But there were also days when I hated him, because I felt he was a burden to me if he isn’t mine.”

Mr Ng pauses for several seconds, then adds: “The boy’s blood type is A+, like his mother and her ex-boyfriend.

“My blood type is O+. I was really torn.”

According to the Australian Red Cross website, blood groups are inherited from parents, like other genetic traits, such as eye colour.

He recalls how, after a few days, he finally suggested going for a paternity test.

He just could not live with the uncertainty.

By then, he had done some research on the Internet and was aware that such services are available in Singapore.

Says Mr Ng: “I thought we might as well settle it once and for all.

“I’d have raised the boy even if he isn’t mine. But if I didn’t know, I’d just be thinking and thinking. And it would consume me.”

Mrs Ng, who is aware of her husband’s dilemma, says: “I felt so guilty for putting him in that position.”

Last month,the Ngs approached Paternity Testing Corporation Singapore, the local arm of a company which provides paternity tests. They paid about $600 and waited about two weeks for the results.

Says Mr Ng: “It was more nerve-racking than waiting for my school exam results.

“I called the company every two days to ask if my results were in.”

The test confirmed that he is the boy’s father.

He says excitedly: “I was overjoyed. All my worries just melted away.”

Mr Ng does not want his own parents to know about the test. “They are old-fashioned and may treat my boy differently, especially if they had any suspicions about his parentage.

“Even if it is now confirmed the boy is my son, I still don’t want them to know.”

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