updated 18 Feb 2014, 05:47
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Thu, Dec 19, 2013
Simply Her
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Learning to deal
by Azlinda Said

I refused and told him that if he still loved me, he would leave with me. He took a moment to consider, then told me to go ahead.

'I need to tie up some loose ends. I will be home in two days,' he said.

So I went home alone, rejected by the man I'd thought was my soulmate - we had been together since college and hardly ever argued throughout our relationship - and mulling over myriad questions.

Was my marriage a sham? Was it worth saving? How would I tell the kids that their father has another family overseas? By the time Fred returned home two days later, I still didn't have the answers.

For a month after that, Fred and I crept around each other, not saying much and keeping up a semblance of a marriage before we attempted to communicate again.

Fred reached out first, saying we needed to discuss things. He took me to dinner at ourfavourite restaurant and was an absolute gentleman that night, reminding me of how he used to be when we'd first started dating.

He apologised for upsetting me and told me that he hadn't planned on falling in love with Jane. 'It just happened,' he said earnestly.

He said he was waiting for the right time to tell me. Sobbing, he asked for my forgiveness.

He'd missed me terribly and wanted to make things better between us. 'Can't we just go back to the way we were?' he begged. He promised that he would fairly divide his time between Jane and me.

At that moment, it all became clear to me - I knew what I needed to do. We'd never go back to the way we were if Fred wasn't willing to let go of his other wife. I certainly wasn't going to share, so I asked Fred for a divorce.

He was taken aback. 'We've been married for so long. You can't just give up on us now. Think of our children,' he implored.

But I remained firm. I told him he had made a mockery of our marriage and I couldn't accept another woman in his life.

I couldn't understand how my husband could give his heart to someone else and sneak around while doing so.

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