A woman in her 50s has lost a large chunk of the money she invested in stocks and her husband is blaming her for the loss. She feels overwhelmed and does not know what to do.

A housewife with four children wants to go back to work because her property agent husband's income has plummeted now that the real estate market is tanking.

A recently divorced man who works in sales has just had his monthly salary taken away by his company - the new policy dictates that he will be paid only by commission.

After meeting his alimony payments, he cannot afford to rent his own place even after taking on an extra job as a taxi driver, so he is now staying with his mother and aunt in a cramped one-room flat.

A man who used to work in the finance industry has just lost his job and has sunk into deep depression. His wife feels that she is not getting any support from him to steer the family through these tough times.

These are just some examples of relationships under siege recounted by financial experts and counsellors as the economic crisis deepens.

Dr Adrian Wang, a consultant psychiatrist at Gleneagles Medical Centre, says he has seen one or two patients each month struggling with stress and mood swings related to losing their jobs over the past six months. Such cases were rare in the past, he says, and these patients are typically from the banking and finance industries.

'As the heads of their households, losing their jobs is not just a financial blow but it also effectively takes away their role as a provider,' he says.

'This often leads to marital strain because the husband gets upset more easily and this affects the children as well when they see their parents quarrelling more often.'

Leong Sze Hian, president of the Society of Financial Service Professionals and host of a weekly financial counselling programme on Radio 100.3FM, says the number of money-related relationship problems he has encountered in his weekly counselling sessions and radio show call-ins has also spiked since the recession started.

'It is almost a given that when people are financially strapped and facing problems like losing their jobs, matrimonial problems arise,' he says.

'Typically, people marry for love but when money problems come, love becomes no fun.'

Over the past three months, the Association of Women for Action and Research (Aware) has also seen a 21 per cent increase in helpline calls and a 137.5 per cent rise in face-to-face counselling sessions with women facing problems ranging from marital discord over strapped finances to stress and depression over cash-flow problems.

'Some women may be entirely dependent on their spouses and if the spouse is no longer supporting them or is contributing less, this creates more tension at home,' says Aware manager Kerry Wilcock.

'Some women state that they are prepared to stay in unhappy relationships as long as financial needs are met. When these needs are no longer being met, they begin to question their relationships.'

Even for couples who have not been hit hard by the recession, these tough times are prompting them to rethink their financial priorities.

For her upcoming wedding, PR consultant Eileen Chua, 33, has shaved at least $15,000 off the expenses by opting for a more affordable venue and videography package.

She even contacted the bride who would be getting married hours before her own church ceremony to ask if they could share the cost of the flowers for the church.

The two brides-to-be are currently discussing their floral preferences, she says, and both are pleased that the bill for flowers can be split.

Business development executive Christopher See, 26, has also started taking a more pro-active approach towards his own marriage plans with his 22-year-old girlfriend.

He recently set up a savings account into which he puts 50 per cent of his salary every month.

'It has been tougher than I think, but we both agree that it's important to save for a rainy day. We also plan to buy an HDB flat when we get married, rather than going for a condo as we first planned because that could put our finances in bad shape.'

Newlywed Tina Marley, 30, also plans to start married life with her husband, a training pilot, on a prudent note.

'For our HDB flat, we plan to do some of the renovation works, like painting the walls, ourselves. We have also cut down on expenses such as eating out,' says the research scientist.

'We definitely have to make cutbacks because things have slowed down and we're not expecting big bonuses this year.'

BAD TIMES, GOOD START

In fact, couples starting their relationships against a backdrop of financial turmoil may be better off in the long run.

After all, practical conversations about money are often neglected in favour of romance in good times, says Leong, who advises all couples to share their financial goals and concerns before getting hitched.

'Talk about everything from what kind of wedding and honeymoon you want to career plans and how much debt and income you each have,' he says.

'You'd be surprised at the kinds of things I hear couples complain about, things like not knowing their partner has to support his parents totally.'

Even for couples whose finances are now in a mess, it is not too late to get their act together, he says.

'Parents should get the children involved, let them know where the money is coming from and how it is being spent,' he advises.

'Parents here typically don't want their children to know they are in financial difficulty, so they try to live life as if things are the same. However, there is no harm in being honest.'

After all, as Dr Wang puts it, everyone from millionaires to the average Joe can have money problems.

'The important thing is to get through rough patches by strengthening your bonds with your loved ones.'

This article was first published in Urban, The Straits Times.