Many women in Singapore are lovely and lustrously groomed.

The most stylish ones are beautifully shod. Glossy hair, manicures that appear perpetually day-old and spa-fresh skin - I know I'd love to look more like them.

The only thing missing? A smile or expression.

Quite often there is a hard look instead, which easily sabotages all the expensive effort to look great.

But I like to think we have an inner light that's meant to show on our faces. Signs of life and vitality truly transform a girl from good-looker to radiant stunner who captivates eye, imagination and soul.

I know big cities like Singapore can be impersonal so our defensive masks go up.

There is a lot of rush and stress and competition. All that will show in our clenched faces and bodies.

And, of course, we cannot pretend there are no stormy seasons in life or days when we can barely breathe.

But what if our default expression is a vacant gaze? And if our eyes always betray loss of rest, disdain or worse?

I hope our hard-driving lifestyle will not wipe out real smiles and sparkling spirits in the city.

Having said that, I know a smile can easily hide as much as it reveals.

Paradoxically, I discovered this to be so true in Thailand, the land of smiles.

When I lived in Bangkok, I delighted in the smiles of the Thais and their enjoyment of life.

But I quickly learnt that the Thais have a smile for every emotion. There is a sad smile. People even put on a happy face when they are hurt, insulted or try to defuse conflicts.

Once, a rushing cab nearly knocked a motorcyclist off his bike in the tiny, gritty, busy soi outside my apartment. The angry biker's eyes flashed and I thought he'd go berserk.

But the errant cabbie grinned and bowed, and the biker grinned and bowed right back. In seconds, all was forgiven.

With so many nuances of the smile, the Thai smile often hides more than it reveals, anthropologist Niels Mulder said in his classic, Inside Thai Society.

That was true of my part-time cleaner, Praparn. The single mother whose husband had abandoned the family always wore a sweet smile.

But her eyes were wistful. I also wondered if she was mildly traumatised, just looking at the way she arranged my bottles of skincare and stuff in obsessively straight lines.

For a while, I also wished she'd mop the floor more.

My Thai was unsophisticated and so whatever I tried to convey to her, my floor remained a little dusty and straight lines stayed in my bathroom.

One day, I drove back to the apartment with my bright young Thai assistant who interpreted as I told Praparn about the floor.

Me, I'm non-confrontational, so I was starting to be light-hearted as Praparn was smiling and responding softly.

But my colleague slipped in a comment: 'She's getting defensive.'

Astonished, I asked: 'But how do you know? She's smiling.'

Replied my colleague: 'She's starting to interrupt me.'

At once we softened the exchange. I assured Praparn that I appreciated her work, and only wanted both parties to be happier and clearer by stating some expectations. I asked for her thoughts too.

So a smile is not always a smile.

So maybe when Singapore women do not smile, it may not mean anything much.

Yet I say it's not flattering to pair a cold look with a gorgeous face.

And also I remember being struck when a fashion designer declared on TV that his runway models looked very different.

'They look like they are thinking,'' he said.

Sure enough, runway scenes of his models showed that their beautiful faces were reflective and alive. They had personality. Each young woman possessed an innate glow that still moves me, years later.

That vitality was their best feature. It did exceedingly more for the models - and the entranced audience - than their perfect make-up and uber-stylish clothes.

They make me wonder how we can glow more too.

Then I remember the people I know whose smiles and expressions have changed over the years. A couple or so have a hard-edged look, but a great many look cooler and more liberated now.

They're ageing in reverse, I tell them.

I'm guessing they have the confidence of experience, and are much alive to possibilities too.

The good life will show on faces.

This article was first published in The Straits Times.