updated 10 Jan 2010, 14:12
    Powered by
user id password
Sun, Jan 10, 2010
The New Paper
EmailPrintDecrease text sizeIncrease text size
Husband was threatening, cheap and insensitive
by Vivian Chan

SHE was the sole breadwinner of the family, yet he wanted her to account for every cent of her expenditure “in the form of a spreadsheet”.

Absolutely not “a single cent” should go to her family.

When she was involved in two accidents while in the US, she said he did not show any concern.

Even her cooking was not good enough. He preferred his mother’s cooking.

During cross-examination, she said there was once when she spent several hours cooking chicken curry for him.

But when he woke up and tasted the curry, he described it as “pig swill”. He yelled until she broke down and cried.

The husband denied this, and even produced in court a photo of him “eating and enjoying her cooking”.

Then there were the “mood swings and violent outbursts”.

She cited an incident in October 2003 in the US when he charged down the stairs towards her after a quarrel, raised his fists inches from her face, shouted, and jumped up and down.

She thought that he was going to kill her.


But in court, the husband denied that he was unreasonable towards his wife.

He said that he may have been irritable or annoyed, but was never violent and had not abused or threatened her.

In granting the divorce in May this year, District Judge Tan Peck Cheng noted that the wife had shown e-mails and online conversations in which “(the husband) berated, abused and humiliated her”.

The judge also took into account the evidence of the wife’s friend.

Her friend testified that the husband had ridiculed his wife in front of him when he visited them in May 2002 in the US.

He testified that the husband told his wife that she was “stupid” for making an “illogical” choice not to eat beef, even though he knew it was because of her religious beliefs.

During his appeal, the husband argued that his wife’s friend was biased against him and had a “special interest” in helping his wife.

He also argued that the e-mails should not have been accepted as evidence because he was not cross-examined on them.

But Justice Chao Hick Tin wrote that he should have cross-examined his wife if he wished to challenge this evidence.

Justice Chao added: “Indeed, by not challenging or explaining himself in relation to what he had stated in those e-mails, the court was entitled to take it that he had no explanation for his conduct.”

‘Exhausted wife’s patience’

The husband further appealed on the basis that the District Judge did not consider his depression.

He argued that his condition had affected his actions towards his wife.

But Justice Chao pointed out that the husband “never claimed that his behaviour was due to depression” during the trial.

The husband also contended that he had been acting like that since the start of the marriage, and there was no reason why his wife could not put up with him when she had done so in the past.

In dismissing the husband’s appeal, Justice Chao said: “To my mind, that fact spoke more of the wife’s patience rather than any redeeming feature on the husband’s part.

“While I was unable to pinpoint the straw that finally broke the camel’s back, it was obvious that the wife’s patience had been exhausted by the cumulative effect of his taunts and abuses over the years and the realisation that there was hardly any prospects of the husband mending his ways.”

This article was first published in The New Paper.

readers' comments
A person's patience can run out. Seriously, the matter now is not a gender issue but more of a personality issue? The husband is hopeless.

Personally, its a stereotype for females to complain and "endure" their male partners hence all the hype about it.

If young males grow up hating females just because of these articles, it truely reflects their think, heh. That said, take all these with a pinch of salt and not by example la.
Posted by shybunny on Thu, 10 Dec 2009 at 10:53 AM
Why is it that it is usually the womenfolk that are complaining about their husbands, boyfriends or simply men but we hardly hear of men complaining about their female partners ?
Is something not right with the men or with the women ?
Posted by Ssquirrel on Thu, 10 Dec 2009 at 10:18 AM
Husband was threatening, cheap and insensitive

What are you waiting for ?

Get rid of him or you disappear yourself before things get worse...
Posted by kStreeter on Thu, 10 Dec 2009 at 06:46 AM

The Way I See It:


In many occasions, the local newspaper also never mention the origin of the writers in their current affairs comentary and forum columns la.

And worst still CNA uses the outdated video clips and still putting the word "LIVE" in their transmission leh. :D
Posted by ILostMyBall on Mon, 16 Nov 2009 at 13:59 PM
It is the fact that most Singaporean males are not mature and paranoid and cannot face any difficult situation. Fortunately, they do not have any kids. Plus a "fair" judge handle the case.

I agree 200% that the lady make the right decision to divorce him. All women deserve someone better than this type of men....
Posted by fabulousity on Mon, 16 Nov 2009 at 13:54 PM
Dear AsiaOne Diva

So young males are growing up now hating females. That's a revelation.

May there be help to these 'growing' young males.

Irrational rationality?

Have fun with Diva.
LU Keehong Mr.
Posted by Lukeehong on Sat, 14 Nov 2009 at 23:24 PM
Mainstream newspapers are ALL engaging in disparaging males + male-bashing because of political agenda by the journalists (mostly females now).

It is not surprising that young males are growing up now hating females. Also hating the Authorities for pandering to females. Also not wanting to defend this land from aggressors. Since Govt values females so much and wants to give them more political and social power over the males, let the females bear arms to defend this land if they want to lord over the males.
Posted by cylon6 on Sat, 14 Nov 2009 at 19:53 PM
Why is the couple's name not mentioned?

By not revelaing names New Paper might as well call itself a publisher of "fiction" / novels , not news.

Come on Vivian, what a cheap shot.
Posted by johnjohn5025 on Sat, 14 Nov 2009 at 15:07 PM

Copyright © 2010 Singapore Press Holdings Ltd. Co. Regn. No. 198402868E. All rights reserved.