updated 24 Dec 2010, 12:24
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Sun, Jul 18, 2010
The Star/ANN
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Children need to know that their parents are there for them
by Dedicated

I REMEMBER doing most of my school tasks and assignments by myself while in school. My parents ensured that I had the basic necessities like food, clothing and books. As for my education, they helped by sitting with me as I studied into the wee hours of the morning.

I remember dad used to wake up at 3am to keep me company as I studied because he was worried that I would doze off. He did not want any mishap to occur – we used kerosene lamps then.

Dad would flip through the papers and mum would iron the clothes. This made me feel that my parents were watching over me and I understood that they cared for me.

I did not depend too much on them, knowing that they, too, had to toil hard. Frequently, I would approach my colleagues for help with problems, or to clear certain doubts.

What I find different today is that our children depend too much on us, especially for their schoolwork. When my sons were in primary schools, I helped with their drawing, cutting, pasting and colouring. I helped to make scrapbooks, did craftwork and drew posters.

When they took part in competitions I had to assist in preparing their scripts, rehearse that with them and motivate them to do well.

They ventured on to secondary school, but my tasks were not reduced.

I still had to label their exercise books, come up with ideas for essays and forums, and help with their projects. Every day, be it a school day or holiday, there was always some errand to run, or an assignment to do.

After they enrolled in the university, the tasks continued – wrapping books, buying materials for their assignments, and waking them up to study at the oddest hours. I even go to the extent of waking my son, who is studying abroad – via the phone.

After that first call, I have to double check at short intervals to ensure he does not fall asleep again. During the exams, I only take 40 winks. What if he wakes up late for his paper – I would never forgive myself.

Whatever it is that I have to do, at the end of the day, I find that all these sacrifices pay off because my sons have performed well.

They are aware of our presence, even though we might be absent. This truly builds their confidence and character. In a way it complements spending quality time together.

I believe that if parents continue to make sacrifices for their children, they will reap the fruits and their children will, in future, carry on the legacy.

They will not feel depressed or neglected; they know they have the scope for expression, they have a role model to follow, and a shoulder to cry on. They will not feel desperate or confused.

Therefore, it is important that parents accompany their children all the way. It should not be regarded as pampering because this guidance will go a long way towards helping them achieve their goals and aspirations in life.

I thank my parents for what they’ve done for me, and I know my children, too, will appreciate me.

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