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Sat, Jul 31, 2010
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Avoid this big no-no with women
by Skilldo

There is a story about an army soldier, which has a lot of similarities to how a guy in Singapore woos a girl.

During World War II, an army platoon was getting ready to invade the enemy's country, and the platoon commander was giving a speech to motivate his troops.

He finished off with this question: "Men, we're invading enemy territory tomorrow morning. Are you ready to die for your country?"

All the troops held up their gus and answered in unison: "Yes, Sir!"

All except one soldier, who kept silent.

The platoon commander stormed over to him, and demanded to know: "Soldier, why are you keeping quiet? Do you lack the guts to sacrifice for your country?"

To which, the soldier replied: "Not at all, I have no problems with sacrificing my guts. But it's just that it's ineffective for me to die, because then there'll be one less person to fight the enemy. I'd rather make the enemy sacrifice themselves for their country."

How does this story have any bearing on how to be good at dating women?

While other guys are focused on what they think is an effective way of attracting the woman, you focus on what is truly ineffective.                                                                                              
Let me explain what I mean.

In Singapore, when a guy tries to court a girl, he will say things like: "I'll do anything for her, I'll go to the depths of the ocean for her."  

And in a situation when the woman turns him down, he will start to think - "I'll wait for her, no matter how long it takes."

This sort of 'sacrifice' may sound heroic, but it won't make her feel attracted to him - it is ineffective.

To be honest, if the guy hasn't gotten the girl attracted to him in the first place, he can sacrifice all he wants, buy all the presents he can think of for her, and even wait till the earth expires, she still will not want to be with him.

There are two main points to this:

1) Doing ineffective things for a woman with all your heart and soul does not them, well, effective.

2) Causing her to feel attracted to you must come first - it's the sole thing that will bring
you dating success.                                                                                                                               
Like the soldier in the story, you have to see women in a different light.

Instead of thinking you will do anything for her, shift your focus to  getting her attracted to you so much that she will do anything for you.

Let's talk about causing attraction to happen now.

One way to do that is to create anticipation, or build up suspense.

The biggest mistake most guys make with women is to show they are too eager.

When they receive an sms from a gal, they are too eager to reply (usually immediately), they are too eager to show (or confess) their liking to women, and they are too eager to impress women by doing chores, or showering them with gifts.

Frankly, women will test guys with situations just to see if he becomes eager, and when he does, the women tend to feel unattracted to him.

One example is when a woman tells a guy she is not available to meet him on a particular day. He eagerly asks if there is another day she can make it.

Here's a tip: Be willing to hold back on your eagerness. Be willing to leave women guessing or wondering.

Anticipation builds attraction. Eagerness kills it.

When you receive an SMS from a girl, do not reply immediately.

Stretch out your replies. Vary the length of your responses by sometimes replying in ten minutes, sometimes an hour.

When she asks you questions like "What is your star sign?", there is no need to be so eager to give a straightforward answer like "Virgo".

Be willing to tease and have her guess - build up the sense of suspense in her.

Tell her to make a guess. "You have two tries but I'll give you a clue; it's not Scorpio."

And when you want to meet her on a certain day but she says she cannot make it, try not to appear too eager by immediately checking what other day she is available. That is a sign of desperation.

Instead, tell her to enjoy whatever she is doing that day and talk about something else.

You want her to question if she did the right thing to refuse you.

When you build up suspense and cause a girl to wonder if she messed up something, her attraction for you increases.

Use the above well.

readers' comments
What men desires : To be admired...

What women desires : To be appreciated...

In a nutshell, attraction is what draws u to the opposite gender.

It is not always about looks but rather the ability to hold a conversation, to be able to share some common stuff, to relate well & be understanding.

What men are drawn to initially : Physical looks
(This is normal as they are wired by the Creator)

What women are drawn to initially : Emotional empathy & kindness
Men thinks & communicates differently from women.

Of course there are all kinds of men & women.

Most men like a fun, good natured woman. Some1 who is NOT too emotional.
Not demanding & clingy.

Most .....
Posted by Tsunamiw4ve on Sun, 1 Aug 2010 at 10:26 AM

Ha..Ha.. that is a good one... I will remember that...:D :D :)
Posted by Wong Keat Wai on Sun, 1 Aug 2010 at 10:12 AM
Problem is how to stop me from attracting them not hot to stop them from attracting me.
Posted by Superidiot on Sun, 1 Aug 2010 at 10:08 AM
Oh, BTW, in the movie "Patton", starring George C. Scott, the opening monologue is with Gen'l Patton speaking to his men, "Now, I want you to remember that no ******* ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb ******* die for his country." It's not even the real speech as the real run is full of profanity!
Posted by tatyyuen on Sat, 31 Jul 2010 at 23:35 PM
If a guy is able to converse like this he's probably not too shy. I don't agree with skildo so I'll offer some alternatives to consider in order to be attractive to women. First a caveat. Attraction to someone is more unconscious than conscious. Second is that this "technique" will only work with a narrow spectrum of women. If you are short, fat, and uneducated and she is statuesque, accomplished and cultured, your chances are slim to none. The example is harsh and severe but it makes the point.

What you can do to make yourself attractive are the qualities that she values. An good example are prostitutes. Money is the most attractive feature of the men they encounter. But for the average guy, the key features are confidence, honesty, having a sense of humour and knowing who you are and what you want. These are universal .....
Posted by tatyyuen on Sat, 31 Jul 2010 at 23:25 PM
Who is this person? On what basis is he/she giving these bad advice.
Posted by people on Sat, 31 Jul 2010 at 21:14 PM
(sigh...) I am a very simple guy nowadays... Looking for a nurse to take care of me now that I am a lot older than what I used to be...
Posted by Wong Keat Wai on Sat, 31 Jul 2010 at 19:16 PM

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