I AM in my early 50s and have been separated from my wife for 20 years (not due to a third party). The kids stay with me, but not always as they are all grown up and working overseas.

For the past 15 years, I have had two girlfriends. I broke off my two-year-old close friendship with Miss P about eight months ago. Since then, I have always been alone and miss P very much, although we are still friends.

I am not rich, do not own a big car, am average-looking, weigh 58kg and measure 170cm in height. I think this is the reason why I have a problem getting a new girlfriend.

My ex always complained that I was too thin and even threatened, a few times, to leave me if I did not gain weight.

My problem is that I am always lonely. The TV and DVDs are my friends at night whenever my kids are not at home (they seldom are although I always encourage them to be home more often).

My sex drive is quite high, so I masturbate to release my urge despite knowing it is not so good for me. However, I feel as if I "have" to. If I don't, I will feel down and depressed.

I've been making friends via online dating. However, most of those who do so are just trying their luck, or end up being victims of cheats. I was almost cheated a few times, so I am always cautious about this.

It always turns out that the women I have an interest in are not interested in me, and vice versa. I do not plan to remarry as I am not legally divorced. But I will do it when I do find the right woman.

There is Miss L from Cambodia, whom I met online. We like each other very much and I have visited her twice in the last few months. I plan to see her again and will bring her to Malaysia, as well as Bali, for a month-long holiday.

But recently, Miss L stopped answering or replying my calls and text messages. I still text and call her every day. The last time we spoke, she told me she had a family problem and was busy with work back in her country.

It saddens me that she does not even have a few minutes to spare to call or text me. What is happening? I have asked her a few times why she refuses to answer me, whether I have done anything wrong, and what our plans are for the holidays. But I still get no response.

My female friend has asked me to forget about Miss L. She says I'm putting too much hope in this relationship. I'm planning to work in Cambodia if Miss L accepts me.

Can you recommend some free dating websites? I do not want to be alone for too long.

Lonely

SORRY, but Miss L seems to have dropped out of your circuit. Perhaps she had been hoping for more than two promised trips, or she could have found better options.

So do not bother packing up your bags in a hurry and consider seeking a fresh relationship closer to home. Internet affairs are not the best, as you have learnt.

Right now you are a hot and horny male desperate for sex, but you will not find a sexy woman online so easily. Why stay home with your TV and DVDs if you can try your luck face to face? Be more active socially and stop worrying that you are too skinny to attract the ladies. Looks are rarely the key criteria as women generally prefer guys who are sensitive, tender and considerate.

Hide your lust when you are on the hunt. Unless you only want to hit on women who are looking for sex on the run, settle for someone who can be a friend and companion. You will always end up lonely and alone if you are only out to seek sexual gratification.

If you need release and relief, masturbation is fine as there are no known adverse effects on your health.

While it would help to have someone in your life, you should also try to build up a good relationship with your children. Make time for them, visit them overseas, be a part of their lives and you will feel less on your own. Family is always dearest and warmest.